teresa

We had a Bad Poetry Day contest at work.  Elliott won.  Go figure, working with Elliott is like working with Lassie, he can do no wrong and everyone loves him!
His submission was pretty good, you will have to watch his blog to see if he posts it.  I think he will be posting all of them on our work blog as well, www.responsivebydesign.com.

Here’s mine, perfect for this blog, it is truly a random rambling:
I wondered why, I wandered far
Then I stumbled on my car
I thought for a bit
Then opened it
And sat and slouched and sighed

I turned the key
Hopefully
It coughed and gasped then started
Is the only thing that rhymes farted?
Well that stinks

Off I went into the night
Like a solar landscape light
Strong at first
Yet undoubtfully cursed
To fade away

I was most proud of my double entendre, although ‘I wondered why I wandered far, then I stumbled on my car’ came to me one day in the middle of doing something completely unrelated, and it is one of those things that will stick with me perhaps forever.  Scary huh.

A memory from the triathlon I forgot to share.  While pedaling along on the open road I had two funny things happen.  First I was riding along keeping a pretty good pace as I was crafting my triathlon blog article in head, thinking about recapturing the experience, just then a lady in a pink jacket screamed by me.  I was kicked into another gear, I tried to catch her, draft something, she was gone.

I kept her in my sights although never was able to catch her.  I was jealous of that pink jacket. I had a long sleeve and thought about putting it on.  I wasn’t sure if I would I get too hot, would I be too cold, I made a clutch decision in T1 to leave it behind.  I was cold, not freezing, just cold.  When suddenly a burst of warmth hit me, I sat up and enjoyed it, then realized the warmth was from the exhaust of a large truck passing by, funny the things that bring us comfort.

As I was begging Elliott to go to the city pool with me the other day to do laps I realized something abot myself.  He said he didn’t want to go and he would let me test it out, see how it works and then he would go with me.  Thats when I realized how being brought up to notion that if you show weekness or fear your brothers will sing the chrorus of the song ‘don’t cry out loud’ really changed my life.  I fake, act, pretend whatever I have to when I am dolng something that is new, foreign, or scary.  I walk in there like I know exactly what I am doing.  For the most part I am very thankful for this.  It allows me to try new things and get out there. 

Analyzing it further I realize this mentality does affect much of my life.  When I was a new engineer I think I asked very limited questions because I wanted to look like I knew what I was doing.  This was dangerous because the first few years of learning are critical.  At meetings with a new client I have to force myself to ask questions for understanding about their process or procedure.  Because showing a lack of knowledge or understanding is totally against my grain.

Another reflection, one of the interesting parts of married life for us has been recently we have both not been as flexible.  I think right before the wedding we were both very flexible, I guess you could say walking on eggshells, we both did what we could to keep the other happy.  Now that the stress of the big event is over we are both working to recharge.  And neither of us is being as accomodating as we were before.  So I went to the pool by myself.  Walked in there like I knew what I was doing.  Found the women’s locker room – success.  Located a lane that I could use.  And I swam over 500 yards.  I think that the lifeguard was probably sure I didn’t know exactly what I was doing as I think my swimming form is still pretty rough.  That doesn’t matter though.  I needed to prove to myself I could do it becuase Deb and I are going to do a triathlon early next month and it is a 500 yard swim.  So now I just want to do it faster, or really with less breaks which will make it faster.

So believe it or not I would like to thank my brothers for toughening me up.  Teaching me to hide my feelings.  Because that has allowed me to do and experience things that I might not have wanted to do, instead I seek out the scary to conquer!  I do however balance that toughness with a reminder that it is good to ’show your feelings’ to those you love.