Mom and I took a vacation a few weeks ago to San Francisco.  It was a great time.  Mom loves the city and I love to research and plan things to do.  We had such a full long weekend.  We went to Half Moon Bay, saw a Shakespeare in the park, saw Chihuly’s amazing work at the De Young, winded down Lombard Street in my car, waited our turn to go up Coit Tower, ferried it out to Angel Island to never go on the tour, saw a show - The Drowsy Chaperone at a beautiful SF theatre, saw a movie, went to the wharf and the beach, shopped, found the coolest neighborhood garden in Palo Alto, and went to a Giants Game! 

I posted many of our pictures here:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/elliottgoodwin/sets/72157606583191855/, unfortunately in a rush to get them off my camera I think I accidentally deleted like half of them from the end of our trip.  That has really been bothering me because they are lost forever…  I keep thinking they will some how mysteriously show up - just as they did disappear…  that is the downside of being a paranoid to do list manager as I am, sometimes you rush to get things done and things go wrong.  Deleting those pictures really makes me mad.

The other big recent event is I completed my first triathlon!  Deb and I did a triathlon near Lompoc where she lives.  It was such a great time and such an important personal milestone for me.  I set the goal of completing a triathlon either 1 or 2 years ago as a chance to set a goal that would make me learn how to swim.  I never learned to swim as a kid and am borderline afraid of the water.  So I did it, and it was so great to do it with a friend!  I will admit that the swim was in a pool so our next tri will be in open water, maybe in LV, we shall see we are still plotting.

Driving back from Lompoc I saw two older men at the pump next to mine at a gas station.  One of the nice men was cleaning his windshield as the other kept him company.  Then he started cleaning his entire car with the windshield wiper, he was so proud of his efficient use of resources.  His friend looked so embarrassed I think he would have climbed into the trunk if he could have.  I thought this was funny, i wondered how he answered the sometimes typical prompt after filling up his gas tank, Carwash?  Yes/No.

On my drive to and from Lompoc I also listened to 2 audio books.  On the way there I listened to Farewell my Subaru, as the proud driver of a fine all wheel drive Subaru that no longer makes as much sense where I live this title caught my eye.  It is about changing your life and reducing your impact to the environment.  He did that by moving to New Mexico, starting a ranch with goats and chickens, and parking his Subaru for a truck converted to run on biodiesel.  I liked it.  It could have been read a bit better.  The content was very enjoyable.  Don’t worry, I didn’t notice the humor in me driving 4+ hours to swim, bike and run while listening to a book about reducing your fuel footprint…

I drove back Saturday so that I could have Sunday to Burning Man shop.  Elliott and I have been on mad spending spree to prepare for our week + vacation to the playa.  This has included thrift stores for costumes, hardware stores for our shade structure, army surplus stores for costumes and shade, Target for misc supplies, you get the idea.  Well I spent all day running around to check as many things as I could off the check list, Elliott had a picnic with a group he is involved in so he was off the hook.  I did so good.  At the end of the day though I realized my Kulesza worry wrinkles were worse than ever.  These are those wrinkles on your phase between your eyebrows that develop from worrying particularly if your worrying is attached to your face, which seems to be a genetic disposition of mine.  I don’t think I ever noticed until a recent trip to Las Vegas when Kathi was pointing out everyone’s worry wrinkles.  I think she was thinking about shooting botox or who knows what else into hers.  Anyway mine are normally just vertical, although after a long day with customer service people that will never be as good as I was at Champs back in high school my visible dismay had turned horizontal showing 2 L’s on my forehead.  Elliott tried to rub them out for me.  I am not sure but I think I listened to a meditation on the ipod before going to bed which calmed me.

Work has been great, we are busy, with a new project that is pursuing LEED certification so we are enjoying some sustainable design as well as our efforts for sustainable living.  Today we will trek back to the farmers market for our favorite dates and whatever else shows up.  And we have a weekend full of BM prep, a party with some new friends that will be our playa mates, and probably some work intertwined in there too.   All with the vision of in a week and a few days I will be cruising on my fatty seat on my playa bike, in lord knows what kind of outfit, checked out from reality.  My blackberry will not work.  I will not be able to respond to little work things here and there as I usually do.  I plan to check out the art.  Write.  Take pictures.  Meditate.  Meet some new people.  Reflect.  And spend some awesome time with my love and friends new and old. 

After leaving work, a little later than I should have I came home for a first.  Our first herb garden!  Elliott had to go out of town for an off site meeting so that left me to complete our seed planting.  Many of the seeds required soaking which was reminiscent of the wedding flowers, every cup out of the cupboards, filled with water and spread out on kitchen counters.  We didn’t get organized early enough in the weekend because of our special date to see the nerdcore movie so we didn’t start our soak until Sunday.

Tonight I had to prepare the pellets of soil by soaking them in water and then plant the seeds as instructed from 1/16″ to 1/4″ to 1/2″ deep.  I certainly hope that this measurement is not critical because I found this placement of the tiny seeds to be sketchy at best.  I started out spreading out the 3 seeds throughout the 2″ diameter pellet until after 2 or 3 I decided they could all go in the same hole in the middle.  I felt like a sushi chef, hunched over, with a spoon corralling the seeds from the glass and pouring them into the hole in the dirt, completing each implantation slowly and deliberately.  I kept a chart to know which herb was planted in which pellet, we have 2 of each including herbs like sage, basil, chives, mustard, and many more totaling 12.  We purchased the kit from www.herbkits.com.

After the herbs where planted and the lid installed  I walked to the grocery store in my “flip flops, flip flops” to purchase the remaining items I would need to make a broccoli salad.  Now all of this may sound normal to some of you but for those of you who really know me lets take a second to appreciate that I am starting a garden and cooking!  These are truly phenomenal steps for me.  I have had few hobbies at best the last few years and none of them have included cooking or gardening.

The cooking has been inspired by our recent efforts to go to the farmers market each week.  We started this as a step towards increasing our sustainability - buy local food.  It turned out it has also inspired us to eat more fruits and vegetables and to try new things.  So each Saturday we go to the farmers market, select our inspiration for the week (which has included a variety of mushrooms, eggplant, purple potatoes, green beans…) as well as our staples dates nan or focaccia for our weekly pizza dinner and so on and we are off.

So this week we bought broccoli which inspired us to make a knock off of the Costco broccoli salad.  The recipe I used is a blend between 2 I found on the internet:

• http://www.elise.com/recipes/archives/001949broccoli_salad.php
• http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/paula-deen/broccoli-salad-recipe/index.html

The second one suggested blanching the broccoli which before today I would have thought had something to do with this Golden Girl . But now I know that it means to drop food in boiling water for a short amount of time which I decided was a good suggestion.  I also followed the instructions to cool the broccoli in a bowl of ice water, the crackling of the ice made this step fun.  I modified the recipe slightly, this is a confident cooking move that Elliott taught me.  In lieu of red or purple unions I used the white onion I already had in the fridge and caramelized it using brown sugar (another trick Elliott taught me).  This is partly because Elliott doesn’t like red onions and partly because I already had white onion and didn’t want to waste it, besides it allowed for creativity.  Also I decided to exclude the bacon so the caramelized onion would add some extra flavor.  I liked the dressing of the second recipe better using honey instead of sugar.  I did use white instead of apple cider vinegar because we currently have an overstock of 2 bottles of white vinegar, a good reason why to check your cabinet while making your grocery list.  I included peas and will use raisins, although those are at the office so I will have to add them to my lunch tomorrow before enjoying.  The end product looks like: 

All of this was completed with the sound of the waterfall from our courtyard for better or worse and the slight breeze through the apartment that every once in a while catches the vertical blinds and sends them dancing into each other for a few moments, “click clack, click clack”.

Tonight I will turn in by myself and will look at the soft glow of our sun in a jar.  A pretty cool gift that my Vistage group gave us as a wedding present along with some other goodies.  The sun jar is a solar panel with rechargeable batteries and a little light.  It charges during the day and lights up at night, pretty cool.

To more nights full of planting and cooking, who knew how fun it could be!  Of course the only thing that would have made it better besides raisins and a green thumb is Elliott.

Analyzing it further I realize this mentality does affect much of my life.  When I was a new engineer I think I asked very limited questions because I wanted to look like I knew what I was doing.  This was dangerous because the first few years of learning are critical.  At meetings with a new client I have to force myself to ask questions for understanding about their process or procedure.  Because showing a lack of knowledge or understanding is totally against my grain.

Another reflection, one of the interesting parts of married life for us has been recently we have both not been as flexible.  I think right before the wedding we were both very flexible, I guess you could say walking on eggshells, we both did what we could to keep the other happy.  Now that the stress of the big event is over we are both working to recharge.  And neither of us is being as accomodating as we were before.  So I went to the pool by myself.  Walked in there like I knew what I was doing.  Found the women’s locker room - success.  Located a lane that I could use.  And I swam over 500 yards.  I think that the lifeguard was probably sure I didn’t know exactly what I was doing as I think my swimming form is still pretty rough.  That doesn’t matter though.  I needed to prove to myself I could do it becuase Deb and I are going to do a triathlon early next month and it is a 500 yard swim.  So now I just want to do it faster, or really with less breaks which will make it faster.

So believe it or not I would like to thank my brothers for toughening me up.  Teaching me to hide my feelings.  Because that has allowed me to do and experience things that I might not have wanted to do, instead I seek out the scary to conquer!  I do however balance that toughness with a reminder that it is good to ’show your feelings’ to those you love.

After I dropped him off at the BART station I went by Subway for a meatball sandwhich dinner, alway a good back up plan and I went back to work.  I “worked” only a little.  Cleaned up the piles and moved paper around.  Then I went through some of emails that I tend to save up of things to do.  Like we want to go to a San Jose Earthquakes soccer game, so I had an email reminder in a folder, so I ordered tickets and deleted the email.  I had some SWE business to catch up on so I did that as well.

Soon the minutes faded into another and before I knew it, it was 9pm.  The lights flickered, the automatic building energy managements way of telling me they would be shutting off for good unless I called in with my secret code to override it.  I called in another hour of light but I am not sure if the system is on Colorado time or what but they shut off anyway.  Oh well, the building’s way of telling me to go home, which I did.

On the way I home with my bag of industry journals, business newspapers, and dishes from the office to wash at home (we don’t use paper plates anymore, its a green thing) I realized something.  It is a Friday night.  Elliott went to SF and I stayed at work because lets face it I don’t have anything else to do.

Now thats not totally fair.  I do have a very good friend not far away that if I were at all organized I could have made plans with.  Or I could have gone to the gym.  Read a book.  Gone to the mall.  Or any number of other things.  But I did realize driving home that I have no new friends here.  We have been here over a year, 392 days give or take.  I have met a few people in Vistage and have spent some time with a few of them outside of our meetings.  We have some great clients that we have spent some time with although mostly on a professional basis with.  I have met people through professional organizations but nothing has blossomed outside of committee meetings.  A year in and I have developed no new “serious” relationships.

I purposely use this awkward word ‘relationship’ because that is what it feels like.  I have been asked out by some women at different events to hang out another time, maybe with our spouces, and it is always weird.  These exchanges have also never panned out into an official date.  Not that I don’t take some of the blame.  I am at times horrible at social situations.  Especially lately, I get around people and I start jabbering away like an idiot who doesn’t have anyone to talk to at home.  Which isn’t fair I do have someone to talk to, but I think its nice to have multiple someone’s to talk to.

So, another year to give it a go.  My goal, 4 seperate new relationships.  Meaning if I meet a couple they only count as 1.  Ah rules, and you wonder why I have no friends!  But seriously, I am going to start asking people out, forcing myself in social situations and making an effort, which the friends that I do have can tell you I have never been very good at.  I am good at working.  And spending time with Elliott.  But I will expand that so that Friday nights can be celebrated with or without Elliott (Elliott you know what I mean without right…). 

Another observation, while driving today.  Nearly all cars going only 5-10 mph over the speed limit.  All in their own lane, charging along happily and friendly.  There were a few cars who were in a hurry, but these people were not the majority.  After driving in California for a year this felt strange.  This is typically the scene only after passing by a speed trap and it usually only lasts 45 seconds.

Our honeymoon although not to a foreign country has still provided some interesting cultural experiences.

First off many things have come to mind that believe it or not I did not manage to fit into my recent wordy posts.  Two moments I will never forget at the wedding were on separate occasions when Brad and Russell came up to me and wanted to genuinely welcome me into their family.  They said they were so happy that Elliott and I were together and that they wanted me to know that they were happy that we were married.  This made me feel so welcomed into the Goodwin family.

Reflecting on an older post we have now flipped the outlook of in a week from now, which has become a week ago we were… at the rehearsal, and tomorrow that will be a week ago we were married!

For a honeymoon update things are perfect.

Ok not everything is perfect, the hotel was a little rocky at first.  The key didn’t work, we had to return to the lobby and when we did get in we couldn’t find the bedroom (sounds ridiculous but true).  They didn’t deliver the luggage because we ‘didn’t give them our room number’…  The shower takes awhile to warm up (which I feel is karma telling me to save water and energy by taking short cold showers… an inconvenience I have not yet adopted in my efforts to reduce my personal footprint).  The maids are emphatic about cleaning and turn down services which we have finally remedied with the do not disturb sign.  And there is a detector of some sort probably smoke that blinks all through the night above our bed. 

For the positives there is a fireplace.  Full kitchen that we have used a lot and magically gets cleaned every morning.  Decks over looking the village.  Robes.  TV with cable!  Living room.  WiFi.  Oh and a beautiful view!

We have catalogued our trip so far in pictures on our flickr account http://www.flickr.com/photos/elliottgoodwin/collections/72157605723758202/.

A quick (ya probably not..!) summary.

Day 1: Got in late afternoon.  Got settled.  Walked through the village.  Had dinner with a view of the river. 

Day 2: The walking tour of Vail.  We walked along the river a few miles to just about West Vail.  We stopped at a park and watched a bit of a girls lacrosse game.  On a side note can you believe they wear skirts?  I think if they want to wear a skirt to play a sport that they should be able to but it seemed like it was perhaps and expectation.  Personally I am not comfortable for very long in a skirt let alone playing lacrosse.  Elliott informed me that some mountain bike girls wear mountain biking skirts!  I guess one of his friends particularly enjoys this look when spotted on the trail, surprising.  On the walk back we stopped for gelato, yummy!  And eventually caught the bus back to our hotel!  We went to the grocery store to stock up and then went to a free concert in the park, which was a lot fun.  We were there early with all the families and kids, which was fine, and had a great seat.  Later on the concert turned out to be a drunk fest.  Elliott and I didn’t partake.  When we first got here I read the hotel guest book, don’t ask me why, I am a researcher by training!  Anyway they suggest drinking lots of water and staying away from caffeine and alcohol.  Apparently high altitude sickness is not as common as plain dehydration.  So we have been drinking a ton of water, but we enjoyed the concert nonetheless.

Day 3: One of my best days ever!  We drove to Stillwater lake.  Canoed around the lake, which was peaceful and stressful at different times.  We paddled out, docked poured out some of the excess water, paddled out further, stopped and read,, it got a little windy and choppy, “we” dunked our bag with the books and camera in the lake, and we struggled to make it back to the dock without being sucked into the outlet, relaxing and entertaining all in one activity.  Then we went on a horseback riding trip - amazing!  My first time ever on a horse, I had Norma, Elliott was on Blondie.  Julia was our guide.  She took us up to a cave that has Indian pictograms.  The horses went through a little stream (my favorite part!).  At one point my horse decided to go back down the trail.  I think she knew that I really didn’t like kicking her and pulling up on the reigns, but she made me.  She also stopped to eat nearly every 10 steps, hilarious.  We also ate at the restaurant next to the lake including homemade apple pie!  It was a wonderful day of new experiences, sunshine, a little rain, and a great escape from everything.

Day 4: Another great day, this time on the river, fly fishing with our guide Steven.  Fishing is amazing.  I didn’t think about a thing in the world while fishing.  You just think about casting and floating, watching the bobber or the fly and waiting for the fish.  The only thing I thought about was how I wasn’t thinking about anything!  We both caught a fish about 3 hours in.  Right after we changed to dry flies.  The fish were really cute, you can see pictures in our flickr pictures.  Please don’t laugh, they are tiny but as Steven said everyone starts somewhere!  After fishing we went to dinner at the GasHouse and then to the Beaver Creek Rodeo.  All I have to say is mutton busters.  Someone once told me that mutton busting was the funniest thing they had ever seen, I didn’t believe them but now I am a believer!

Day 5: Today.  We were both really tired.  I woke up to the blinking light at 5am and eventually went back to sleep but I woke Elliott up who couldn’t go back to sleep… oops.  Anyway we had a lazy morning and eventually got up and decided to to Edwards to get a coffee and to read.  This is a super cute town that we would stay in next time we come back instead of Vail, it just has more character to it.  Anyway we walked by an Aveda salon and we have both been daydreaming about getting a hair cut. So we walked in and scheduled haircuts for later and then went and got a coffee.  I watched a little bit of a pre book signing speech by Newt Gingrich, which was interesting and then had to leave for my haircut.  We are both cleaned and looking great!  After that we saw a movie, Get Smart.  This got bad review which I think were too harsch, I liked it, good action, good humor, a little romance - all wrapped up and enjoyed in a cute little theatre, perfect.  Tonight we enjoyed dinner in, we made pizzas - delicious and had York paddies for dinner.  It was a great day!

Tomorrow is Day 6 and we still have 3 or 4 more days to go!  Lots of exciting things left to do and see while kicking off our new marriage.  All is well for the Goodwin’s, in love and enjoying every minute.

If you read my previous blog you know I stayed up pretty late, could not get to sleep.  I woke up before my alarm.  I showered and washed my hair which as the girls may know some hair stylists suggest coming in with dirty hair but my stylist said feel free to wash my hair.  I laid out all of the things that Elliott needed to bring to the site and left him notes regarding the different piles.  I finished packing my bag, retrieved my dress from the closet, and headed to my car.  I was to pick Krista up at 9:30, I think I left the house at 8:30, I couldn’t sit there any longer!

I went to Denica’s for a pumpkin muffin, one of my most favorite treats!  I sat in my car and ate it as slow as I could and finally called Krista and asked if I could come by early.  She said some family was near the pool having breakfast so I could say hi to everyone.  I waited outside of the lobby waiting for her to make sure Elliott was not in sight.  I remember a guy walked by and said, “you can go in” with a pompous grin, he didn’t realize I wasn’t nervous because they would find out I wasn’t a guest I had bigger nerves.  I caught up with the Kulesza’s and Goodwin’s and saw some other friends too. 

Then we went to the salon for Krista to get her make up done the first appointment of the day.  The salon found a great little room for us where Norma, the make up artist could do her work and the rest of us could hang out as we rotated in and out of appointments.  At one point the 5 girls from the wedding party and I were all in the room just chatting.  Talking about the rehearsal dinner, gossiping, talking about guys and work, kids and everything.  It was a perfect moment, I couldn’t have asked for anything else.  Eventually we did my make up which was dark but I liked it.  And my hair turned out great as well.  All I wanted was to not look like I have short hair and she did this with great success.  Everyone else’s hair and make up (and nails) turned out great as well.  As time went on, I got more and more anxious.  Tapping my feet, counting down the hours in my head.  Wondering if everything would be set up and would go smoothly.

We got a bite to eat before leaving.  I ate a hamburger which all of the books recommend so that you can sustain through the ceremony, I think it worked.  We went to the Rose hotel, the photographer was there when we got there.  Which is hindsight was a bad idea, too stressful.  We did however get pre getting ready pictures which may prove to be nice to have, at this point I don’t know (don’t have the pictures yet…).  We had reserved 2 rooms and only one was ready when we checked in but that was ok.  The girls and Mark (photographer) piled into the room.  Mark snapped a few pictures and then snuck out so we could change.  When everyone was dressed Mark came back in, took some pictures of me freshening up my lipstick and snapped some of me and mom.  Then we went down stairs and he took some pictures of me outside.  Some of the girls came down but it was a slow trickle beyond what was expected given everyone in theory was pretty much ready, minus slipping on a dress.  Well turns out they were working up a surprise gift for me and Elliott which I am sure seemed nice to them at the time, but all I wanted was to take pictures so it ended up stressing me out.  Oh the other stressor.  Kathi was delayed in picking up the flowers.  Mark asked that I have the flowers there when we were getting ready for the pictures but they were not there.  The flowers finally did arrive and the girls all did finally come down.  The other stressor, standing outside taking pictures on Main St.  I really didn’t want to welcome all of our guests to Main St standing outside in front of the hotel as they were on their way to the ceremony.  I don’t know why but I wanted them to see me for the first time when I walked out of the Blue Agave.  When we were done with pictures Mark went to the site to take pictures of Elliott, the groomsmen and his family before the ceremony.

Thank goodness with the flowers Kathi also brought champagne (I will note I think Kathi ran a lot of errands for me and for the wedding and I am really grateful).  I had a few cups and felt better.  We had time to sit and relax in the lobby before the ceremony.  Dad was there and he looked great in his suit.  Mom was in a beautiful purple dress and accepted a small bouquet to hold for adornment.  Isabel, one of the flower girls, was there and looked adorable (Ana wasn’t there yet but did come in time to walk with us to the ceremony).  Isabel took some pictures with me that I can’t wait to see.  Katie (Isabel’s mom) was also there and that was great.  She was a non stressed helper.  She wasn’t in the wedding party so she wasn’t worried about pictures or bouquets, or her hair, or if her bow was in the right spot. 

I will tell you I am not proud that I was stressed.  I was worried.  Not nice.  Nervous and bitchy.  Beyond where I wanted to go on this day, but I guess it is probably common and I will give myself some slack given the circumstances. 

Anyway eventually the time had come for us to walk to the ceremony site.  We started down Main St but then turned off so we could sneak in the back and surprise the guests. 

Julio our contact at the Blue Agave was waiting for us to arrive.  He did a wonderful job with everything on their end and was genuinely committed to our weddings success.  He had even blocked off a parking space with a cone so I could park near the door, I didn’t tell him we were walking…

We snuck into the restaurant and I quickly peeked out the window, everything looked great including Elliott!  It wasn’t long before Susan got everyone lined up.  Susan did a great job of getting everyone organized and keeping things running smoothly.  After everyone else walked down the aisle, my mom & dad and I stepped out and began our walk.  Before I got to the end of the aisle mom and dad where both in tears and Elliott was too, ok I was too!

Elliott gave my mom a hug, my dad a handshake and then he escorted me to join him near the girls and Kim.  The rest of the ceremony is fortunately documented in our vow book and on Rick’s camera.  The vows were perfect.  Except Elliott and I did have to recite a few sections which I didn’t realize we were going to have to say anything other than I do…  But I think it went well.  I didn’t realize but Russell held Connor during the ceremony.  Later him and Elliott were worried that I was bothered by that, but I didn’t notice and I certainly didn’t care, its things like that which made our wedding real, and us, not over scripted or fake or even perfect, just right.

I came in and out of tears throughout the ceremony and eventually stabilized, Elliott did too.  At one point I did hear dragging chairs, but they quickly stopped.  There was also a distant motorcycle engine but it was not much of a distraction.  I tried not to notice but there were a lot of empty chairs.  Elliott and I talked about it later.  We didn’t have time to see if we just plain miscounted or what.  A handful of people did not attend who we thought were coming (they all had their own valid reasons).  I don’t want to dwell on this topic because it really doesn’t matter but organizing a big event like this is difficult.  You spend your whole life watching movies and dreaming up what wedding days are supposed to look like.  And on my day it was a  mix of emotions.  Most times feeling that things were just right with only moments of wondering if he had made the right decisions.  Was this the right venue.  Should we have invited more people.  Should we have done it inside.  Should it have been more formal…  These were brief but for a moment made me stumble.  I did however pull out of it, settled my eyes on Elliott and remembered what “the event” was really about.

When Kim had wrapped up the vows including my favorite part about the hands we kissed and returned down the aisle, this time together.  We took pictures which went well and fast which is what we wanted.  Then we joined the party.  I remember that the party went very fast.  I don’t think I got to say hi or genuinely talk with anyone, especially the wedding party or our family.  I didn’t get any salsa….  We danced and danced.  Omar did a great job with the music.  The activities went well.  From the cake cutting (no cake in our faces) to the bouquet toss to Krista and garter toss to Brad.  Towards the middle or maybe end I can’t remember there was a seemingly larger congregation watching the dancing than actually dancing.  This was a little distracting but eventually I zoned it out.  We did have some wedding crashers.  2 guys in straw hats and 2 ladies that entered the back area and b-lined to the bar, very funny.  Julio quickly escorted them out.  Oh we did do the pinata, I didn’t get a chance to thank Deb for taking care of that, I think that was a great hit among the kids.

We had a video camera set up which Elliott has told me we have some great video on it.  We got many signatures in our guest book and on our bowl (sink).  We snuck out and took a picture with Mark under the Pleasanton sign which is a classic in our family and remincent of my graduation party.  We stayed until the last song.  Some people even vowed to continue the wedding party.  Krista and Brad got some road sodas, margaritas in these large salsa paper containers, too funny.  And Elliott and I followed our better judgement to not go to the after party and we started our Honeymoon.  Our room at the Rose was perfect.  It was nice that we had two rooms, one to store all of the stuff, and the other for us.  We enjoyed our first night as husband and wife together (yes it still sounds funny to think about these words that now describe us).  We took a bath (sorry if this is too much information) in the tub lined with rose petals (our gift from the girls) and drank lots of water to ward off the potential sangria hangover.

We slept in.  Packed the car.  Payed Julio.  And had a coffee and breakfast with those still in town, the Kulesza’s. 

Our wedding was wonderful.  A weekend full of events and yet it went by so fast.  We are committed now to enjoying our first week as husband and wife.  To be good to each other.  To be patient and loving.  To extend our experiences together.  And to enjoy time away from work.  We are in a wonderful place - Vail.  The fire is going (so is Star Trek).  The mountains are beautiful (the air is thin!).  We have big plans from mountain biking to fishing we plan to enjoy every minute.  I think I will extend that those goals and this dream of enjoying every minute belong for every minute, always for the Goodwins!

Well you can be sure the house is picked up and everything is organized!  I thank Elliott for his patience with my neuroses lately.  I believe my grandmother said there’s a place for everything and everything in its place.  Well that has been me the last few weeks.  I have been busy busy organizing.  From the spice rack to the book shelf everything is clean and orderly.  In fact I am doing laundry right now, that is how sick I am.

Today we had a wonderful picnic with our family and friends at Emeryville.  It was a little entertaining because Elliott and I are in shorts and t-shirts because it has been 90 degrees in Pleasanton the last few days and as we are driving out to the Marina Park in Emeryville getting closer and closer to the water Elliott realized he didn’t bring a jacket (neither did I), and he always has a jacket, so much so that I often tease him and call it his man purse.  We got out of the car and burr it was cold and the wind was just blowing.  We sat at some picnic tables and I finally wrapped myself up in a blanket I was so cold….  Finally someone, Kaye or Debra suggested we try the other side of the peninsula to get out of the wind.  After a couple of moves we did finally make it to a group of tables that was blocked just perfectly.  We didn’t have the same view of the city and bridges, but at least the weather was quite pleasant.  We enjoyed a snack and watched the kids get to know each other, which was perhaps one of my favorite parts of the picnic.  Its funny not being a mom because you are no where near as cautious as the parents.  At one point I saw a bridge so I suggested the kids go over to throw rocks and sticks off the bridge (which went to a boat dock).  The parents stood up straight and all separately and without coordination were concerned that the kids could slip through the guardrail and fall into the water.  Horrible but that didn’t even cross my mind as I round up the kiddies to run out onto the foot bridge.  But I guess that’s what aunts are for.

After the picnic we went to get our nails done.  The salon is a little funny I would call the guy who runs it a little up-tight, perhaps if Seinfeld were still on who the main nail guy could take on the soup guy.  Krista and I had appts but Stef and Julie didn’t so they couldn’t get in to get their nails done….  It was great that Stef, Don, Julie and little Katie made it to the picnic at all, they were at the whim of Katie and she was trouper and made it after the long ride from Reno.

Before I go too far I will share that we did share some rather sad exchanges at the picnic.  First Don was very aloof and was acting funny and finally Stef told me that one of his coworkers just passed away, I think on Thursday.  Don had gone to his house to check on him because he was not at work and it sounded like he called the cops to break into his house and they found him dead.  He was young, 40’s with 2 kids, just not right.

And then Julie says that her ex-boyfriend Tim broke his leg a few weeks ago.  And after he went home some of the bone marrow got into his blood stream and somehow that caused fluid in his lungs and he was I think in a coma because of oxygen deprivation…  What the heck.  He broke his legs playing soccer, enjoying life one minute and then in the hospital the next minute in a coma.  I think he is doing better but still will have a lot of recovery. 

These were sad reminders that life is fragile.  I am and have been reading the book the Denial of Death for a long time.  I picked it back up again and am working on finishing it now.  It talks a lot about how we fill our lives with problems and concerns so that we can redirect our true and over arching fear of death.  And I think what the book has taught me that in order to come to grips with the fact that you will die you ultimately become crazy.  So its a good thing to be distracted.  But then we also have to balance filling our lives with potentially unmeaningful experiences and material goods searching for protection from our fear of death.  AND sometimes that fear of death manifests itself in things that leads us to not live life as fully, which is ironic.  For instance some people develop a fear of germs.  They wash and wash their hands, and with this might think that if they avoid germs maybe the will live longer.  But in the meantime the probably cannot enjoy other joys in life like kissing a little kid who has buggers all over their face, or going to a ball game, or riding the BART into the city for a nice dinner.

So this weekend and all weekends and weeks I hope, pray, dream, wish, whatever to stay grounded, and to celebrate the wonderful, fear just a little, not focus on fear or death, but allow it to remind me that life is too short and all of our time is precious.

With that let me recount what else I remember of the day.  So after the nail salon Krista, a very relaxed and accommodating MOH says its ok to run the one errand I really wanted to run before the rehearsal dinner which we were pretty much already running late too.  But I will fess up here because only Mom and Elliott will likely read this entire blog I had one last gift to get for the girls.  I ordered maracas for the bridesmaids weeks ago.  And not until a week or so ago I realized they hadn’t arrived yet, so I called and I will recount all the drama but they were supposedly resent twice and never made it on Thursday the last chance I had for them to arrive.  So today, Friday I was on a mission to find 5 pairs of maracas, which is not an easy task but I did it, I found a music store in Oakland which carried the Maracas so Krista and I on the way home go to this music store.  Well we found it but then I drove past it and then was looking for parking when Susan calls and says she has a problem.  Dad had come in by bus and was at the greyhound station and didn’t have a ride.  They were originally going to pick him up but they were delayed.  Well turns out the station was minutes from the music store.  Krista had even seen the greyhound sign as we were driving around - totally weird.  So we go get Dad and then go back and park.  I run into the the music store and am able to complete my gift to the girls, thank goodness.

We then drive to the rehearsal, but we did have to stop for gas cause the light was on and while I would have normally pushed the car to the limits Krista suggested to just take the 5 mins and get the gas.  So we are almost to Pleasanton and we realized that we are going to pick up mom and we have dad in the car and unfortunately mom and dad are not really talking right now.  So we say we are going to get mom and dad in the back seat says what?….

But it worked out ok and they were civil to each other.  We were nonetheless late to the rehearsal what else could you expect from me?

We did the walk thru a couple of times and good thing, I think it is more complicated than you would think and its good for everyone to learn about their role and practice.

Then we came back to our house.  I changed and wrapped the gifts which was an ordeal and the worst wrapping job I have ever done.  I went to the pool and club house and started mingling as John would say.  After a bit Elliott and I say one of should call and check on the food, turns out they didn’t have our order.  The 3rd party website we had to order through online said they had the order for Saturday not Friday.  I have a hard time believing I could have screwed that up but it is entirely possible.  Anyway we got our goof out early so we don’t need to have a goof now tomorrow.  We reordered food and they brought it over pretty quick which was really nice of them.  We had pizza and pasta and not enough forks!  We ate every last bit of food and have more alcohol left over than we know what to do with, that shows where our priorities are, make sure we have enough booze at the party!

So at the end we got together.  Everyone introduced themselves.  The bridesmaids shared some funny stories in the fashion of a roast which was all too perfect and was hilarious and that was about it.  I am not sure who cleaned up but whoever it was I thank them eternally because the place was pretty spotless.  We brought the booze up and Elliott left, you know just wouldn’t be right staying together the night before the wedding.  The worst part is I think most of those jerks were going to go out after they left.  Meet at a party and continue the party while I am left to get “beauty sleep” yay right.   So what do I do, laundry, clean, blog and work on a toast that I am not sure I will even give tomorrow anyway.  But at least I am prepared.

Hey on a side note I did want to comment on how it is interesting to me that when you are getting married you get yourself in tip top condition.  I mean I am thinner than I have been in awhile, my teeth are whiter, my skin smoother, hair longer, skin tanner.  Its ridiculous.  Its like prom but for adults.  So can it only go downhill from here?  Will I be able to keep it up?  Will I want to? 

Oh and the flowers, I forgot to share about the flowers.  They came in Thursday.  I had to run them home to put them in the fridge per the instructions to return to work receive a call from the flower company to find out they shouldn’t go in the fridge.  So we have 65 flowers (no I didn’t count them but that does sound like something fanatical I would do) spread out all tied and organized, beautiful really, in water spread out in the house and the air conditioning turned down to 70 degrees because they said 60-75 degrees was perfect for them and the fridge is apparently too cold.

Ok the drama begins or continues.  My phone just rang (its midnight) and it was my brother informing that he didn’t think he should come to the wedding tomorrow because him and mom exchanged words and I am not sure what happened but he didn’t think he should come to the wedding.  He sounded upset.  I offered to come there if he wanted someone to talk to but he said he was ok.  I said he should wait to see about coming to the wedding tomorrow and that maybe he could keep his distance from mom and it would be ok.  Not sure what happened exactly but I think it involved a bar and some stools…  So we hung up and what did I do.  I called the MOH (maid of honor, Ms Krista) and I tattled on Jay for calling me so late the day before or technically the day of our big day!  Krista, as an experienced MOH would, told me everything was fine and there was nothing wrong.  I told her he called me and it certainly didn’t sound like everything was ok.  And she again said everything was fine.  I said you are just saying that.  She said no I would tell you if it wasn’t fine.  She had been there during the argument and although wasn’t part of it I would trust that if it looked like a big blow up that she would have caved and admitted the extent of the drama.  She said she would call Jay to make sure everything was ok.  Which she says she did and he said they would talk about it tomorrow.  Good enough for now I suppose. 

Well let the games begin.  I am going to watch some tv now, which is a perfect distraction from reality.  Good night.  Next time I sign on I will be married, how exciting!

Then I had read about a yogurt place in the Diablo magazine that I wanted to try and I also saw something about a Belguim beer spot so I added both to our places to go list.  Elliott agreed to check out the yogurt place with me which is in Berkeley.  As we were headed to Berkeley we realized we could also go to theatre where we could catch a flick that we haven’t seen yet.  You see we go the movies so often these days that we have seen nearly all of the movies at the neighborhood theatre.   However there is an off beat theatre in Berkeley, Shattuck Cinema that was playing Son of Rambow which looked pretty good.  We drove by the yogurt place on the way, couldn’t find parking and because Elliott insists on getting good seats and seeing every preview we didn’t get yogurt because we were pressed for time.

The movie theatre was totally cute.  Elliott really liked the ceiling in the lobby, .  I really liked the popcorn, they had 4 flavors of powder to sprinkle on top including white cheddar and ranch!  The theatre had no more than 50 seats, very intimate.  The movie itself was really well done, much more enjoyable than some of the bigger name movies we have seen recently - I swear we so many movies I think we should be movie critics.

After the movie we walked across the street to try a different yogurt shop than originally intended, Yogurt Harmony.  It was delicous - a must do again.  Very fresh, light, organic - seemingly healthy.

After that on our way home I suggested that perhaps….  we could go to Oakland and check out the Belgium Beer bar I had read about, Elliott agreed to it.  We drove around looking for parking for a bit and eventually tentatively entered the bowling alley of a space.  We walked to the end of the bar but not into the extended table seating area when a couple said they were leaving and gave us their seats, it was meant to be.  The Trappistserves all Belgium beer, not that Belgium beer means that much to me I softly whispered to Elliott do you think they serve Fat Tire, and he explained that the New Belgium brand is not actually Belgium beer (although inspired by), oh…

For the first round we ask for suggestions.  I ended up with a Houblon Chouffe, which I picked for the name.  A passerby commented thats the same way he picks his horses, not a bad method.  Elliott ordered the Manneken Pis.  Both were great.  The best part is The Trappist takes pride in their work selecting the proper glass for each type of beer, chilling the glasses, it was nice to see these bartenders work.

Our second round, who knew, this was Elliott’s idea, I thought we only had one round in us, for me was a St Bernard Abt 12 which could only be described as Christmas in a bottle, very spicy!  Elliott settled on the blueberry wheat, with just enough taste of blueberry, hmmm yummy.  We snatched pictures as we usually do of our beers and of us.

After awhile of sitting there I realized there was a guy sitting next to Elliott who was by himself.  I asked Elliott if he had realized he was sitting there and asked why he hadn’t said hello.  I asked the stranger about his beer choice which was a Frambroise a raspberry beer as my pick up line.  We chatted with him for what might have been an hour.  He was from Belgium and was new to the area too (I know we have been here for a year, but it all still seems new).  It was nice to talk with him. 

We did eventually head home.  When we got home we enjoyed more beers and an escape from all sorrows and stresses of the world.  We played a dice game different from our normal gin rummy game.  It was perhaps one of our best dates ever. 

We used Elliott’s bike which worked fine except his breaks squeal like a mother so everyone could hear my lame self coming down a hill riding the breaks like a sissy!  I did get off the breaks quite a bit and passed a lot of the girls who ran by me on the running legs.  We tied gold ribbon to the bike so we could find it and it had our number on it too.  Elliott had the misfortune of starting on the bike and had to climb this horrible hill the entire first leg.  He said he stayed on the bike the entire time and didn’t walk it which was impressive.  It got a little hot around the middle of the race which took us about an hour. At the end you have to crawl through a mud pit on your belly.  I had no idea how hard this final piece would be.  We didn’t do it the sally way on hands and knees either, we dug in and sloshed our way through the mud, it was tiring and awesome all at the same time.

At the end we were caked with mud from neck to toe.  We followed the mud stream to the hoses where the buddies washed off.   I felt kind of bad about this part because the wasted water was immense.  But we cleaned off and then changed into our clean dry clothes at the car. 

We enjoyed a beer at the beer garden and enjoyed the line of guys watching the tail end of the girls who were still coming through the pit. They start everyone in waves, guy teams, coed teams and the women teams.  I think this system was designed by a man who wanted to watch all the ladies coming through the mud while encouraging them from the beer garden.  If the girls were crawling hands and knees the guys taunted and yelled at them to get on their bellies, if the girls complied they were met with cheers, it was rather entertaining.  After that we collected some swag and then went our way, what a great way to start a Sunday.

Next year we want to get our friends to do it with us and we can have more muddy buddies.

We posted our pictures here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/elliottgoodwin/sets/72157605506646408/ but we don’t have any of us really muddy because it would have been impossible to hold the camera without ruining it, but hopefully the race photo people can read our muddy bib numbers and send us legit muddy photos soon that we will share soon.