I do have one other plan for this week.  I am going to try doing just one thing at a time.  In the past I have prided myself on maximum efficiency.  If I was to take out the trash I would also take anything down that needed to go the car and run to the mail too.  If my computer is slow to open a program or save a file I hop over to my email or maybe open up another file to do something else real quick while the other program loads.  Well all this has gone to far.  I have mastered never really focusing on anything.  And at the end of the day when I do my time sheet while I know I got several things done separating out the hours is difficult.  Actually I am testing a program for a friend’s husband that helps people who bill out by hour, like lawyers, track their time by tracking their computer usage by file name.  My log is ridiculous.  There are seconds here and then there, email then drafting program then excel file.  Sorting it all into projects was a 20 minute task, I know because the program told me so.

So today I thought of everything I did as a project.  When I woke up I told myself it was about Project Breakfast.  However I suddenly found myself walking around the house picking things up, putting things away, so I told myself to instead complete Project Clean Up so my mind could focus on the next project.  Then Project Breakfast commenced.  This included tea.  I sat on the opposite side the table from my computer rather than my standard read an email, take a bite breakfast routine.    I worked on one Project Project, work Project, for several hours.  Took one break for Project UnNumb My Bum.  That’s right.  We have been working at our dining room table for months in solid wood chairs.  Elliott has been complaining for weeks about it.  Although it finally caught up with me this week.  My rear end literally feels numb when I get up after a few hours.  So I walked to Starbucks for Project Relax.  Drank a chai tea and read some of my new book about CEO Tools.  Then I decided to do a project on the way home, Project Personal.  I stopped by Barnes & Noble and picked up two things I have been day dreaming about, 7 Habits of Highly Effective People – Audio and Slow Death by Rubber Duck.

And I worked on what is one of my major projects, Project Bikini.  I am 1 week into a running program.  I have a half marathon in my sights.  And then a full marathon after that!   However for now its one day at a time.  Plus I think this project as I mentioned assists with Project No Itching, have to find a positive way to phrase that.  And when Elliott gets back I am going to work on Project Love.  One of my definite goals is to have deep and meaningful  relationships.  I keep to myself and don’t connect often with many people.  And I think I am going to start by focusing on relationship #1.  Not sure exactly what the actions will be for this project, although I believe complete and undivided attention will help.

Here’s to the sequel being the final in this series.

So I google map navigated myself to the building a few blocks from the lunch location.  I turned the corner and looked for a place to park and pulled into a space on the street.  The spaces were at any angle, neither perpendicular nor paralell to the sidewalk.  As I pulled into my space I saw a man with the hatch of his truck down in the space immediately next to me on the driver’s side and he was gingerly sharpening a large knife.  It was quite a frightening sight for a split second.  The only time I see people with knives that large is either on the food channel or while watching Dexter.  I paused for a moment as the knife made two or three more passes on the sharpener and my mind tried to understand which one of these things didn’t belong.  Eventually my eyes made their way to the lettering on the side of the truck “Mobile Knife Sharpening”.  Relief.

I got out of the car and couldn’t but nearly giggle at the man sharpening knifes on the street.  I quickly said something I am sure original like, “Ya, that’s not creepy”.  He laughed and said well the company description on the car normally helps.  And I replied yes indeed it does, when part of me thought it was more likely just a really good cover for a mass murder like Dexter.  The knife sharpener turned up his creepy, horror flick charm and with a monster style giggle  proceeded to sharpen his knife as if a really good member of a haunted house act.  I laughed at the entire situation and escaped to gather my downtown map.  He handed me a company brochure  and told me I had a nice smile.  Quite a nice mobile knife sharpening guy!

Well you can guess how that went, a Kulesza woman told not to talk just to listen… that lasted about 5 minutes.  I couldn’t take it anymore.  I felt very comfortable interviewing our child to brainstorm her wish.  I definitely learned that from the years of watching my mom as a teacher.  I think there is a certain energy and approach to take with a child.  I did however  found it a bit hard as the girl we interviewed often answered our questions with “I don’t know” which she tended to say with a silly voice with her hands thrown over the top off her head.  Our goal was to get her to describe her wish.  What it might feel like, what she would do, rather than just a simple statement of a place to go or a thing to have.  Make A Wish’s mission is pretty clear and Magical is  word you can’t miss when listening to anyone from Make A Wish speak.  I found myself searching for that magical opportunity.  Looking for where this little girls passions might lie.  What would make her, if even for a moment, forget that she was or is sick.

I found that I often ended up asking not so open ended questions in search of something other than I don’t know.  Which in turn yielded a yes answer so I am unsure if she just agreed with my suggestions or if they were truly what would make her wish special.  I am certain of one thing.  At the end of our visit I asked her if there was anything that was really important that she wanted to tell us before we went, that she really wanted to make sure didn’t forget.  She said with resounding certainty that she loves Pet Shop toys (these silly little animals that play in different building structures).  She had already shown us her collection.  I asked if there was anything else before we left.  She thought just for a second, and said again I love Pet Shop toys!

My mom would appreciate that her favorite subject is reading.  She shared with us her favorite book.  And when I asked her what she had on the lanyard on her neck she said with uncanny simplicity that it was her library card.

As we were ready to go she asked us not to leave.  This was the same little girl who her mom almost had to drag out of her room to great the three strangers who were there in her living room to learn about her wish.  I explained we had to go as we had lots of planning to do for her wish and that we would be back.

I learned then that it would be hard to not be able to plan the wish.  In fact the staff will plan the wish.  Which is probably a good thing as they are well experienced at making the wish happen flawlessly and magically.

We will be able to return with the information about the wish when it is ready and we will at that time be able to bring some extras perhaps some Pet Shop toys and a book by her favorite author to add to the celebration of the delivery.  And then I should prepare myself for that will be it.  We will again say goodbye although with no reason to return this time.  Our purpose is both special and succinct.   To bring something wonderful and magical to a child and a family who has had to endure more than what seems fair.

• Your salary is typically the average of the people you are friends with, a more specific way of saying what my father and I think his parents said which is: ask me who I am and I will tell you who my friends are.
• Generally the slight edge is about harnessing the power of small, seemingly insignificant steps, that over time result in huge successes (compounding interest).  The author posits that the slight edge works in both positive and negative directions.  So for instance one cheese burger will not make you fat, although a cheese burger once a week for a few years will probably add some pounds.  Conversely he suggests reading 10 pages of a positive self improving book each day, overtime gaining the knowledge and energy from those books will improve your life.
• Plant, cultivate, harvest.  In our society there seems to be a need for immediate results, the slight edge is about knowing that taking the steps will provide the results although never immediately.
• Write down your goals and refer to them often – this is the one part that I will be working on.  I have my goals.   They are written and they are in a pile of papers I haven’t taken the time to look at.  That is not right, my goals are so important that I want to focus on them each day so I can take baby steps towards achieving them.

So now I am reading a Kabbalah and Business book that some how I purchased a while back.  I think it was one of those Amazon suggestions, people who bought this book (which I think was The Starfish and the Spider which I haven’t read yet) also bought… and in order to receive Super Saver Shipping I ordered it, the title is True Prosperity.  I am really enjoying it.  I think Elliott is afraid that I am going to drift off into a cult somewhere never to return as myself.  However I like the way the book is presented.  I do not know if their way of thinking is right or true although I think the idea provides a good way at looking at life’s struggles, and stress and fear.  The first few pages of the book they talk about a persons desired to be fulfilled and that caught my eye as that is my word for this year, fulfilled with balance – those are my goals in a nutshell.  Anyway the book goes on to say what most people achieve is success with side effects.  I think that the slight edge talks about that as well.  That often executives may be very successful at work although have not found balance with their family.  I think that is success with side effects.  The slight edge is about taking baby steps in all important categories of your life which the author of the slight edge suggests are: health, personal development, relationships, finances, and life overall (with a focus on purpose).  Back to Prosperity another part of this book is about being at the cause of your life rather that at the effect of it.  My Vistage chair talks a lot about this, the book refers to it as being the boss of your life.  The book also talks about the effect of the ego.  The book describes ego as an illusion or a fake self.  I think that is interesting, I think that in general people use ego to protect themselves although ultimately I think that it ends up shielding us from really connecting with others.

Here are some of my favorite quotes/ideas from the slight edge:

• In talking about not fearing failure: Babe Ruth set a world record for home runs, he also led the league in strikeouts.
• There is never anything but today.
• Success is not a random accident.
• For you scientists: a body at rest tends to stay at rest, a body in motion tends to remain in motion.
• Results come last.
• My all time favorite: Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it.

I am certainly not perfect.  I have made some of the slight edge steps in my life already.  Mostly related to personal development by reading.  I do think more about what I eat.  I haven’t yet committed to exercise on a regular basis.  I blame it on the weather.  Although I think the slight edge says something about successful people live a life of responsibility so I take responsibility for my lack of exercise and I desperately want to improve in that category.  And then I have relationships to tackle.  At any rate I am motivated and excited to focus on my goals and achieve fulfillment and balance in 2010.

I can’t believe I am going to be 30.  I was listening to a song I used to listen to in high school, Strawberry Wine, and there is a line in there when she sings I can still remember when 30 was old, ain’t that the truth.  I don’t feel like I am 18 anymore although I certainly don’t feel old.  Not that 30 is old although it is certainly through a large chunk of my life.

Although I can honestly say this was the age I always looked forward to being and so far it is good.  2010 is looking to be a great year for us.  Our house is set to be sold in the next few weeks.  I think many of you know we are going through a short sale, I don’t try to hide that fact.  That is an unfortunate although necessary part of us losing our jobs in 2009.  When the house is sold it will just about complete that chapter of our life.  We are looking to move in March to a place where we can have a dog, a goal we have had for awhile.  And if that works well, ie we don’t kill it and we don’t hate being tied down, I think 2011 will be the year we look to start a family.

Work is good.  We are solid with work.  We haven’t been able to pay ourselves yet although we should be able to be fluid enough to pay ourselves in the next few months.

Elliott and I have continued to develop our goals and vision for our life.  We recently discussed our personal and company goals.  Our over arching life goals are to seek fulfillment and balance.  That includes time with family and friends.  Professional success.  Enough wealth to retire at a reasonable age.  Health and time for exercise.  I feel good about understanding what it is we wish to fill our lives with and seeking to achieve it.

Elliott right now is working out as I blog.  It is too funny, he is doing pull up in the doorway.  I am proud of him for working out.  I am working out my feelings and sharing, all important right?  Now I am going to work on my poetry book.  A goal I have had for over 10 years.  I wrote a lot of poetry when I was younger, middle school through high school I think.  I have always wanted to compile them into a book.  And I figure its never too late.  So I have been working on compiling my old poems.  I am pretty excited about it.  The title of my book will be something like “The poetic diary of a tragic middle school girl”.  More to come!

Lately though my stress has in my opinion begun to manifest itself on my physical form.  I have had for quite a while an eye twitch that seems to come and go with stress, eyelid twitch to be exact.  Although recently I have developed an itch for stress.  That is I have areas on my skin that are dry and itchy.  Now it may very well be something else, bed bugs, diet, some skin disease, who knows although I think it is largely attributed to stress.  It started right before we were laid off and recently has gotten worse.  It is embarrassing, which is why I am mentioning it here, some how it makes me feel better to be honest and air this embarrassing fact in this very public forum without actually having to hear or see someone’s reaction to my deformity.  The other day I swear I barely scratched but I managed to take off a little chunk of skin on my shin and cause a scab.   I think the worst part is on my shins although I have other spots of it too.

Fortunately I do not have it on my face.  Although I have found myself sneaking a scratch of an armpit during a meeting and this is certainly not in line with my preferred outward appearance.  I thought it would go away.  And until the scab it was not really outwardly noticeable, minus the need to scratch every now and then.

Now I am resolved to do something.  Until now I was not motivated enough to give up my hot-hot showers although reading on-line I think that is one thing I can do that might help.  Also I have never been much a fan of lotion although I am lathering up after my shower as well.  I will also work to drink more water.  I think however I will draw the line at buying a humidifier.  Oh, and I think at this point I am also going to go see a doctor.   Anyway, I had an itch to get this of my chest and out in the open.

Our goal was to camp.  There are several first come first serve spots that seemed promising although we had no idea if we would actually be able to get a spot or not.  We packed lightly.  We brought only our little 6 pack size cooler with yogurt, cheese, turkey, lettuce and dressing, and peaches.  Be brought a few options for bread, an extra fiber english muffin, one bagel, two dutch crunch rolls, and several protein and similar bars.  We filled two water bottles, two camel backs for a hike and a larger jug only previously used for Sangria in case water was limited.  We brought bug spray and sunscreen.  The camera, iPod, and phones, oh and I brought my gps style watch which we did use.  We brought bathing suits and towels, although never used them.  Lastly we packed the tent, sleeping bags, thermarests (little 1″ mattresses if you can call them that) and were off by about 9:30am which included a trip to the store for some of the food mentioned above.

It was to be about a 2.5 hour drive and it was.  I had an email with the campsites prepared and we stopped at the northernmost one on the list that was near the water.  It was about noon.  The ranger said it was a 50/50 chance he would have a site available and he would know by 1pm, noon was check out.  I was ok with waiting there although Elliott primed to see some sites suggested we go check out one of the things on our list to see, Pfeiffer Beach.  So we drove about 6 miles south.  The turn off is an unmarked road and is two miles of a one lane road with turn outs for when you meet a car coming the other way.  We followed a truck with a surf board, so we felt confident we were on to something.  Unfortunately when we reached the bottom the ranger let in the last car and then told a few cars in front of us that they were full.  Given the chance to wait we declined, unsure when we might be let in.  At that point we decided to go back and check with the 50/50 ranger.  We were a little early from the 1pm suggested time, Elliott offered for us to wait in the parking lot when the ranger said, we’ve got it sorted out we have a spot for you, success!  Our first spur of the moment, relatively poorly planned trip, looked like it may work out ok.

The site was a “walk in” site.  About 1/3 a mile.  Which we ended up doing about 12 times.  Although walk in is quite nice once your in, car camping always feels a bit like cheating to me.  We took one light load out the first round out.  We found our site, #20 and set up our tent in one of the areas of ground not holy from the squirrels underground transportation system.  I set a few things on the table, food in canvas bags and was quickly surprised by how brazen the squirrels are, one chewed a hole through the canvas bag and we believe bit through the english muffin bag and a Lara bar.  I realized then there were “bear lockers” available that were actually squirrel lockers.  We put up the tent and I almost caught a picture of Elliott on the bench with a squirrel coming up to take a nibble at him although he got spooked before I could get the picture off.

At this point it was lunch time, so we headed down the trail to see what we might find with the cooler in hand.  We hoped the park had beach access although given the quick planning we didn’t know.  We walked another maybe half mile, through the beautiful smell of eucalyptus trees, along a river, and eventually saw the ocean!  There were quite a few people there laying in the sand taking it in.  We plopped ourselves down and ate our butter lettuce salad with lemon dressing, and I dreamed of walking down the entire beach to a rock outcropping that seemed reachable, far at the other end.  We enjoyed our lunch and then headed back to unpack before a hike.

We went back to the car for the next load and also to inquire about fire wood.  Fortunately the rangers (the sweetest couple, older folks) had some, at first she started to say we would have to go 3 miles down the road until she remembered her stash had been refilled, $8 for a decent stack.  Unfortunately we would have to walk it in with the rest of our stuff.  We hadn’t brought matches or a lighter, the downside to not being smokers, so I asked if she had any extra and graciously she gave us a little box of matches which she asked that we return.  I carried what felt like a mountain of stuff.  My backpack with clothes and warm stuff, my camel back on the front full of water.  One camping chair which Elliott suggested we leave behind although I lobbied otherwise, he carried the other.  One bag with the sleeping bags, and one bag with the thermarests.  Elliott carried the one chair and the wood and boy that wood must have been heavy!  Elliott grunted damn near the whole way to the campsite.  My shoulders hurt, my arms were tired, and at times I wanted to take a break, although I couldn’t stop laughing under my breath at Elliott’s exhaustion of carrying the wood, I almost offered to trade him loads, although part of me knew that the wood probably was pretty heavy.  We laughed about this later and he said he would like to see me carry the wood from the fire ring to the tent, which I did with a smile on my face and prance in my step!  No doubt it was heavy and annoying to have to lug in.

At this point we decided to go for a hike.  We had checked out the trail map at the ranger station and we saw that there was a bluff trail that went right down the direction of ocean toward that outcropping that beckoned me.  I put on my trail runners, although there would be no running, sans socks for any water crossings.  Elliott put on his five fingers.  We brought a bar each in our camel backs filled with water.  I put sunscreen on only my face, we packed the camera and off we went.  I think we figured it would be an out and back, when we felt we had gone far enough, and hopefully had found access to the beach further down the trail then we would turn back.  I started my gps about 1/2 mile into it, we crossed the Big Sur river which widened and slowed to an easy 1′-1.5′ deep crossing.  We headed down the beach toward the trail head which we had watched people traverse during lunch.  Eventually the Ridge Trail and the Bluff Trail split and we took the Bluff.  The views of the ocean were wonderful and we took pictures every so often as we climbed higher and the beach we started on got smaller.  Our destination, the out cropping, seemed to stay the same distance away.  After about 1.5 hours and 3 miles we saw a map at a trail intersection and we realized that we could do a loop instead of an out and back by tying into the Ridge Trail and taking it back to our camp.  That was exciting.  We decided that we would hike for one more hour and if we reached the turnaround point than we would go to the Ridge Trail, although if we didn’t we would head back.  We didn’t want to spend the sunset or dinner on the trail especially without flash lights.

The trail intersection showed a Spring Trail down to the ocean, we hadn’t yet found ocean access, so we took a quick detour, and it was well worth it.  I loved the site at the bottom, this mountain of, I don’t know what, rocks or tree stumps, whatever they were they were quite fun to travel over toward the beach.  We were the only ones on the beach and it was perfect.  We watched the waves for a few minutes, looked out at the boats that we had watched from the trail, I continued to look for whales, even though I don’t think they are expected this time of year, and then we headed back on our journey.

It was a tough trail.  Some of it after this point a bit over grown and narrow, and dang it seemed like we were just going up and up and up, and indeed we were.  I thought I might not make it although I hoped that we would make it to the Ridge Trail and then just coast home on the top of the world.  We finally made it to the top and thank goodness there was a bench, the first and only bench on our trek, and it couldn’t have come at a better time.  Interestingly there was also a house out there.   Funny, we felt like we had, and well we had, hiked for miles, in what seemed like the “wilderness” and it was only to stumble on a dirt road, Private signs, and a multimillion dollar house with a sculpture in the back yard, we were a little annoyed.  I considered sticking my big toe under the barbed wire barrier to feel the glamor of Private Property although I was too tired to bother.

We shared our bars half and half which was good, one was very fruity-tangy and the other pretty chocolately, together they were more bearable.  We drank water and we admired our achievement, we were definitely above the clouds!  From here out, our hopes came true, the ridge trail was not only flat it was down hill all the way back.  It was a nice wide, sandy trail and we blazed back to camp.  The camp soon grew closer and the out cropping, which ended being home the house, was in our dust.  Just as we started turn down into the beach we came upon a deer, a mother with two younger ones.  We went the other way down a different trail and let them pass.  We made it back to the beach and we sat down, back where we started almost 8 miles later.  We had earned our dinner!   We rested for a bit as the sun went down behind the headlands, we cleaned our feet and shoes walking through the river and we old lady walked it back to camp.  Elliott had started to talk about his dogs hurting about 1/2 way through the trip and at this point he was in pretty good pain.  My feet were uncomfortable although didn’t hurt like his did.  When we got back to camp he took off his shoes and found a blister with sand in it!  Is that gross or what, I don’t even know how that happens.  I was in the tent putting my jeans on as it was getting cold and he called me out to see it.  I generally like things like this, although even that was a bit much for me.  He found several others in similar condition and he proceeded to free the dirt from his body.

I started to get ready to get the fire going.  Neither Elliott nor I have ever started a fire, this was to be our first, for ourselves and together!  Fortunately I had watched someone start a fire at our Labor Day camping trip so I was confident I could do it.  The only thing we were lacking was paper.  I set the kindling and larger wood up in a tee-pee, as I had witnessed before.  I tried to light some of the kindling to get the fire going although it was not near as easy as lighting paper.  I tried, Elliott tried, the matches blew out in the wind, or the kindling just wouldn’t catch.  Eventually Elliott found two pieces of paper in his backpack.  We stuffed it into the tee-pee and lit it, although it wasn’t enough, it burned, caught a few pieces, we blew on it, tried to get it catch other pieces although eventually it died.

Meanwhile the fires in the pits around us were all going strong, we were starting to feel the pressure of the sun going down and the cold sneaking in.  I remembered I had tissue paper in the glove box for any of those last minute gift wrapping emergencies and thought, hoped it might do the trick.  We took off to the car, one more time, feet just screaming at us.  Elliott thought we might as well just go to the store at this point to get matches as well as we had already burned through about 2/3 of the box with our failed attempts.  At that point I remembered I had a note book in the car, with paper that was certain to burn better than tissue paper.  With that we decided we could do it with the matches we had.  We hobbled back to camp, by now it was getting dark enough to warrant a light, which Elliott had also retrieved from the car.  We walked back into camp, ripped strips and crumpled others, determined to get our own fire going.  We put more paper in there than necessary so that we wouldn’t have to go through watching it fade out again.  We lit it, and if it ever started to die down even a bit we shoved more paper in there, until finally the kindling had caught, and then a big piece of wood caught.  We watched it for a quite a while just to make sure it wouldn’t die on us, and it didn’t.  We had started our first fire!  And we started the day without matches!  It was such a rewarding feeling.  Starting and enjoying our own fire.  We added wood to it as the night went on.  We watched the fire.  And then we watched the stars.  I can’t remember the last time I really looked at the stars on such a clear night, the moon wasn’t to be found so the stars were brighter than I could imagine.

Eventually Elliott started to lobby for sleep.  I work hard to time my water consumption and restroom visits so that I will not have to go in the middle of the night.  So I made my last trip to the restroom.  I stood by the fire and rotated slowly to warm all sides and then we put it out with water and retreated.  I slept pretty well.  If anything I was hot.  I woke up only a couple times, and I was bummed I hadn’t worn a watch because I like to know what time it is.  Finally I woke up when it was light outside, really light, so I knew it wasn’t early, like 6am early.  Elliott wrestled awake as well.  I had to go the bathroom and he said he was right behind me, which he was, unlike the “5 minutes” he gave me during Labor Day camping.

Kids were already up and playing at a nearby camp although otherwise not many other people were stirring.  Our rain fly was wet from the humidity, which amazes me every time.  In our desperate hunger after our hike we had eaten not only our dinner although also our breakfast, so we had decided to go out for breakfast, a version of what Monica, who we used to work with, calls fancy lady camping.  She goes “camping” although they eat dinner out at a nice restaurant.  So we walked to the car, on the way we saw the buck, which we assumed belonged to the family we saw the day before.  I couldn’t really make him out although Elliott said he was quite impressive.  We got in the car and we went the 3 miles down the road to have breakfast at the River Inn.  It was 7:57 and it was to open at 8am, at least that’s with the biker couple told us who were waiting outside.  We walked over to the associated and open market to buy matches to replace the ones we had squandered making our first fire and we waited with the biker couple.  They were quite friendly, enjoying an anniversary weekend, and they were headed back to Ventura, all along Highway 1.  Eventually they got around to opening the restaurant.  Elliott and I cleaned our plates like it was our last meal, I even asked for another piece of toast.  I was sad to undo all of our work, although we are planning a 7 day detox starting tomorrow so I also felt like it might be my last good meal for awhile so I enjoyed it.

By then the sun had come up and dried out the rain fly on our tent.  We did the walk one last time, packed up the rest of the stuff, and headed home.  All in all, our limited planned trip was a success, filled with firsts, an epic hike, and time away from the grind and the couch.  We plan to go back, hike more of Big Sur, this time with a lighter and paper in our camping box.

The next day we took our time getting to Key West.  Its about a 170 mile drive although takes almost 4 hours because its a bit of a slow drive with one lane and lots of traffic.  We wanted to see Miami and drive along the coast so we took the long way out of Miami and I think with a stop for lunch the drive took 5 hours.  We rented a convertible for the drive down, we are unemployed but come on how often do you get to drive down to Key West so we splurged (although only one way on the way back we reserved a regular car which turned out to be a convertible with a broken top!).

It was hot with the sun on us although still so fun.  We blared salsa music and had a great time.  We had lunch at a perfect place in Key Largo called Eco Eats, totally our style (at least Elliott got to wear his Burning Man shades again!).

We realized on the way down that we really had no idea what this vacation was going to be about.  We had been telling people for months that we were going to “Key West” although we didn’t really know what that meant.  We didn’t know what it was going to be like, what we were going to do or really anything.  And we were ok with that.  We were going to meet Jay and Katie (pictured below) there who had lived there about 10 years ago and we were ready for fun and sun and anything else.

When we arrived we decided to go to the store so we had a few things for breakfast, as well beer, coffee, and a few snacks.  Jay and Katie weren’t set to arrive for several hours so we had some time.  Key West is not a place that it is fun to drive, at least not a car.  There are lots of pedestrians, scooters and bicycles that sort of follow the rules of the road so its a little sketchy driving.  We went to the store, brought the stuff back to condo and relaxed a few before returning the car.   The place we stayed was a two bedroom one bath condo near the Truman Annex, pretty close to the main action on Duval St.

When we dropped off the car our taxi back was a pile in the taxi with other people going the same general direct as you.  I thought that was an interesting idea, sustainable and efficient.

We then used yelp to find a place for dinner.  We at The Cafe the closest thing to Pneumatic Diner (one of our fav vegan type places in Reno) we had been to in a long time.

Then we went home to have a few beers to pass the time.  When Jay and Katie arrived they were hungry so we decided to go out after finishing off the rest of the beer.  If you can guess Key West turns out to be quite a party town.  We went to a few places and Jay and Katie reminisced about the place they met and fell in love (and partied) so many years ago.  My favorite moment of that night was on the patio at The Whistle.  The 2nd story that cantilevers out over the busy sidewalk.  A place that literally inspires you to Whistle at the people below and see if they look.  When that didn’t work I considered pouring beer on the people below which my friends and husband successfully suggested I not do.  Although later as we were leaving I walked under the overhang head back with mouth open looking for someone else as ornery as me although found none.

The next several days all blur together.  I can tell you we did lots of walking, eating and sweating – dang it was hot and humid there.  We went to the ocean a few times.  Jet skied around the island (25 miles) which was a blast.  Of course when Elliott was driving I was frustrated and when I was driving Elliott was beyond frustrated, not my fault I got the choppy part!  Although all in all that was a lot of fun and I would love to do that again some time.  We did the touristy stuff, went to the Southern Most point, and walked by Ernest Hemingway’s House.  Ate at Sloppy Joes and went to the locals bar the Green Parot.  Got stuck in a rain storm a long way from the condo so we stopped for a beer to wait for it to pass.  Ate Key Lime pie.

Our trip was not absent of a to be expected (unfortunately) gigantic fight after margaritas which Elliott ginxed me on because he knows I am even ornerier after tequila.  There was yelling, door slams and I left and sat in the parking lot (hiding), cried, felt bad for myself, mad at Elliott and tried to sober up so I could ultimately what seemed right at the time leave the island the next day prior to our scheduled departure.  I eventually returned to the condo and slept on the couch.  When we finally talked the next day I cried a lot (the last few months have been just a little stressful is my excuse) and eventually came to an understanding and forgiveness.  I can tell  you through this episode I came to understand something new about Elliott that I never known before, I don’t think he learned any thing about me right then although we both did later after I had a chance to process it all.  This is all intentionally pretty vague because its personal although you get the idea, drinking, vacation with another couple, hot, sweaty, unemployed and yet spending money, one bathroom (for 4 people) and tequila.  The day we spent “working things out” Jay and Katie went on a sailing trip that would have been really cool for us with snorkeling and kayaking although ultimately our day was spent on something much more important.

Back to happy stuff, Elliott got a cool new hat, wore it a lot including during this lunch out to have Cuban sandwiches.

For awhile I thought I should not drink again the rest of the trip although that eventually turned into not drinking tequila again the rest of the trip.  We did have one more epic party night out which included another couple, locals, Jay and Katie had worked with the guy years ago.  We had sushi, sake bombs (can finally cross that off the list), played quarters before we went out (with shots of beer so not that dangerous), and we went to several bars “on the way home”.  I remember line dancing, a bull that was luckily not working because the girls go topless (I don’t think I could be drunk enough to think that was a good idea anyway although better off all the way around), and one place where there was a private 2nd floor mezzanine area that I was intent on gaining access to although never did.  Oh I also require a blow up doll part of a bachelor party.  I remember the local guy said several times he didn’t think he would be able to go to different bars because he had been kicked out of them, being a local would be rough I think.  Ultimately I had a great time, I made it home with my purse, my top and my husband, life is good.

We did lots of shopping although bought little, except Elliott did buy 5 finger shoes, I am mad at him because I really want a pair too although knew we both shouldn’t get a pair.  We saw some cool art, my favorite was these wire sculptures that created amazing shadows on a canvas, too cool.  And we bought a $1 art creation from a guy on the street outside of Hemingways house who then asked where we were from and gave us a baseball card with a tie to our area, he was my random stumble on find that you can’t plan for in travel books.

Our last night because we had picked up the rental car so we went up a key or two about 10 miles to a non touristy seafood place and had a great dinner.  A great idea, it was great to get off Duval, to have a nice big dinner and to see something new.

Overall it was a great time and I think I have shared enough pics and personal stories for one night.

Out trip back was a long day.  Started at 10am Key West time and we got home to our house at 1am Pleasanton time (4am Key West time) that included a drive back to Ft Lauderdale, and 2 delayed flights.  We were exhausted.

The next day I had my monthly “therapy session” an executive leadership group that turned out to be just that for this meeting.  We had a psychologist talk about beliefs and changing harmful beliefs (sometimes called self limiting beliefs) to change your life for the better.  In an already fragile state I stumbled on something I had never put my finger on.  That is I don’t let many people in.  I knew that already although I never realized what stress it puts on my relationships and my life.  After some brainstorming the speaker put these words to it, my old belief: If I am vulnerable I will be hurt.  Everyone in the group uncovered very personal and moving self limiting beliefs and then we all meditated rewriting that belief to something more positive.  My new belief is: It is safe to be vulnerable.  Vulnerable means a lot of things to me, in many cases it means sharing my feelings, having really close friends, taking help and guidance from others, and lots of other similar and parallel things in my life.  And ultimately I think in the past I chose to either not let people in, or when I did let them in I was subconsciously sitting around waiting for them to hurt me, which I think led to my Key West breakdown.  Anyway I have rewritten my belief and as part of being vulnerable have shared this very personal story from Key West and my self limiting belief with my friends and family who take the time to follow this blog.  I am opening myself up to you all, vulnerable and I trust that I am still safe.

Eventually, as it tends to, the economy slowed.  And at least subconsciously they realized their employment and steady incomes were perhaps not as steady as they once thought.  They slowly peeled off layers of excess in their life.  They sold one of their cars.  They cut back on the eating out.  They moved to a cheaper apartment.  They didn’t renew the maid when they moved, although they thought of that as just temporary.  Then the day after the husband’s 28th birthday they were both laid off from their jobs.  I forgot to mentioned they worked together at the same company.

This change meant a reduction to their income to about 30% of their highest.  When I say income I mean newly found unemployment income.  Unemployment was something that neither of these yuppies had yet come to understand.  Consider it snobbery although for the most part the types of people they knew that were unemployed if they had ever known any were the types of people who were freeloading off of the system.  It wasn’t until just recently that they had begun to see truly great people around them become unemployed and now they had gone from DINK to NINK, no income (basically) with fortunately still no kids.  I say fortunately as this story might have been truly sad with a child to feed, cloth and care for.

They found that the changes they had already made had helped a great deal although it wouldn’t be enough.  They realized it was funny to feel bad for two people who would have to give up their maid and micro brews, and in fact they didn’t feel bad for themselves.  They felt thankful that the things they needed to cut out weren’t what brought them joy it was only how they filled their time.  The first month they cut out even more of the luxuries of their past although at the end of the month they knew the would have to do more to have a sustainable future.  They found that while living the new changes they began to say things that would no longer sound like words from the people they used to be.  They reflected on the humor in these statements often.

A few of their favorites, which were spoken mostly by the husband were:

After dropping a piece of food in the kitchen, “darn I just mopped this floor”.  – These are two people who for better or worse hadn’t owned a mop in at least 4 years.
Or in the mid afternoon, the husband secrectly sniffed his shirt and then asked, “did I shower yesterday?” – He knew the answer to did I shower today.
And then after one afternoon, “do you want to go thrift store shopping today”, and they didn’t mean for burning man costumes.
Lastly after reviewing how much they had spent the last month on gas, they said, “lets drive no faster than 65 on the freeway to see if we use less gas” – this may or may not be a good idea with the crazy California drivers.

The most amazing thing is these efforts provide entertainment, a new challenge, and a deep feeling of reward.

I hear stories of peoples who’s grandparents save foil to reuse it, these are people who learned these necessities during the Great Depression.  I only hope Elliott and I can be that seemingly crazy couple, who use only what we need and yet revel in the abundance in our life.

I guess the story is more of a romantic comedy, and I think the ending is going to be of the feel good variety.