teresa

Elliott went to a function tonight in SF and I stayed here told hold down the fort in the East Bay.  When we talked about his plans to go to this event I told him, oh no… dinner by myself and free to do whatever I want, what will I do (filled with sarcasm and anything but a hint of imagined loneliness).

After I dropped him off at the BART station I went by Subway for a meatball sandwhich dinner, alway a good back up plan and I went back to work.  I “worked” only a little.  Cleaned up the piles and moved paper around.  Then I went through some of emails that I tend to save up of things to do.  Like we want to go to a San Jose Earthquakes soccer game, so I had an email reminder in a folder, so I ordered tickets and deleted the email.  I had some SWE business to catch up on so I did that as well.

Soon the minutes faded into another and before I knew it, it was 9pm.  The lights flickered, the automatic building energy managements way of telling me they would be shutting off for good unless I called in with my secret code to override it.  I called in another hour of light but I am not sure if the system is on Colorado time or what but they shut off anyway.  Oh well, the building’s way of telling me to go home, which I did.

On the way I home with my bag of industry journals, business newspapers, and dishes from the office to wash at home (we don’t use paper plates anymore, its a green thing) I realized something.  It is a Friday night.  Elliott went to SF and I stayed at work because lets face it I don’t have anything else to do.

Now thats not totally fair.  I do have a very good friend not far away that if I were at all organized I could have made plans with.  Or I could have gone to the gym.  Read a book.  Gone to the mall.  Or any number of other things.  But I did realize driving home that I have no new friends here.  We have been here over a year, 392 days give or take.  I have met a few people in Vistage and have spent some time with a few of them outside of our meetings.  We have some great clients that we have spent some time with although mostly on a professional basis with.  I have met people through professional organizations but nothing has blossomed outside of committee meetings.  A year in and I have developed no new “serious” relationships.

I purposely use this awkward word ‘relationship’ because that is what it feels like.  I have been asked out by some women at different events to hang out another time, maybe with our spouces, and it is always weird.  These exchanges have also never panned out into an official date.  Not that I don’t take some of the blame.  I am at times horrible at social situations.  Especially lately, I get around people and I start jabbering away like an idiot who doesn’t have anyone to talk to at home.  Which isn’t fair I do have someone to talk to, but I think its nice to have multiple someone’s to talk to.

So, another year to give it a go.  My goal, 4 seperate new relationships.  Meaning if I meet a couple they only count as 1.  Ah rules, and you wonder why I have no friends!  But seriously, I am going to start asking people out, forcing myself in social situations and making an effort, which the friends that I do have can tell you I have never been very good at.  I am good at working.  And spending time with Elliott.  But I will expand that so that Friday nights can be celebrated with or without Elliott (Elliott you know what I mean without right…).