teresa

I had just begun to recover from being called greedy and then I was called an alpha dog. I had to look that one up. I have heard it referenced before but was not sure of the true meaning. I don’t think this title truly captures what the person was trying to say.

You see Elliott bought me a gift certificate for a 1 hour massage at Massage Envy for my birthday. I went for my massage last week, my first ever full hour, I have only been for 30 min massages before. I haven’t had a massage since moving except for my about monthly pedicure which sometimes includes the shiatsu chair massage which I am not sure if it actually helps or not, last time it shook me so violently during parts of the rotation that I was giggling because I was bouncing around in the chair. Anyway, first massage in months. With work and wedding planning I am a little tense.

I undressed laid down on the table underneath the blanket - which no one wants to talk about, but it reminds me of my yearly check up. You go in the room, the massage therapist (or doctor) meets you while you are dressed tries to make it not so weird that you are about to strip down and slip under a blanket. Fortunately the blanket at the massage place is much better than the paper thing at the doctor’s office that opens in the front - ok sorry I have gone too far with this analogy, but I thought about this before my massage, probably leading to additional tension.

So I lay down, the lady knocks on the door and says, all ready in there - sound familiar ladies… She comes in, warms her hands by rubbing them together and then uses the lotion fanny pack she wears before starting in on my back. Well first time she touches me I arch my back and almost jump off the table, unlike me to be so jumpy.

We had discussed doing a deep tissue massage which I have also never had, and was a little nervous about because Krista didn’t drink enough water after a deep tissue massage and I think she got really sick. But the lady promised me I would be fine. She stretched my legs a bit to help loosen my lower back. When she was moving around my lower leg I could not relax, I kept trying to anticipate where she was going and moving my leg instead of letting her move it. She kept shaking my foot, saying relax. Finally I laughed and said, I am sorry I lead when I am dancing too. That is when she labeled me with the title of my blog. I understood what she meant in that I prefer to be in control - true. I subsequently worked the rest of the massage to relax.

One tip I learned years ago while at a chiropractor is to direct my attention to my toes. After a car accident in high school I went to a chiropractor a few times. One time he wanted to crack my neck but I sat with every muscle flexed staring him in the eyes when he said wiggle your toes. For a split second I forgot my task at hand, keeping this crazy man from twisting my head violently and I sent all of my thought to my toes, at which point he twisted my head to the right, left and then back before my big toe even made a full frequency of movement.

During my massage I wiggled my toes a lot. I thought of my happy place, which is a sunset I painted as a child, with a mountain landscape, setting sun beaming from all sides, and a river running from the mountains to the bottom of the page and into infinity. That is where I go when I need solstice, when I can’t sleep, or after a nightmare. I used my happy place the other night when I saw huge 6″+ spiders dropping from the ceiling in my sleep. This leads to me gasping for an exterminator and running out of the bedroom - literally. This used to happen every few weeks or so when Elliott and I lived in Deb and Carie’s old apartment on Tierra Verde. I don’t think it happened much in our house on Satellite, and the other night was the first time this nightmare made an appearance in California. Apparently Elliott wasn’t fazed because he waited in bed for me to come back after I came to my senses that it was a dream. The first time I had this nightmare it took a while for him to convince me that the bedroom was safe. Anyway I find it funny admitting that as a adult I have a happy place - a vision which is the same place I envisioned as a child, but I do and I refuse to be embarrassed of it!

I did eventually calm down and even relax a little during my massage. At one point the lady told me something that I had always wanted to hear. You always hear about people having knots in their back, well my back hurts often so I always thought I must have knots but in my few massages I never heard this diagnosis. Funny thing is when I finally heard it I decided the lady was full of crap. Because she said you have a few knots. Then she did her work and at the end she said, I got them the knots are gone. I think that is just a little too scripted, but I thanked her none the less. So who knows if “knots” are true; to me it’s like grey hairs, they seem cool until you get one and then it loses its luster.

Since my massage I have made a resolution to work on relaxing. Elliott has agreed to listen to a meditation cd that I bought a year ago when I realized back then that I needed to relax. We listened to it the other night before bed, the exercise was simple, but worked wonders on clearing my head before bed - I didn’t go to bed with the typical stream of thoughts that I have to write down or email to myself and that I ponder for an hour before finally falling asleep. I think I fell asleep almost instantaneously upon laying down. I am excited to continue practicing meditation. It is something that I have been very interested in for awhile but have never committed to doing. 2008 is my year to make it happen.

After all of this DMV talk I just realized I will have to go back there again in a few months to change my name on my drivers license.  At the same time I realize that I will have to create a new signature.  Do you know how long I have been practicing my current signature.  Since I learned cursive in elementary school.  I think I just perfected it a few years ago.  I adapted the cursive capital letter T from what is rather an awkward letter to this beautiful single stroke curve.  This is all I include from my first name then I do a big K and scratch out the rest of the letters in an effortless motion that is just me.  I just tried T Goodwin, do you know what a screwed up letter the capital cursive G is?  After some practice I think I will keep my T, skip the cursive G and do a regular G followed by ood, which is tough sledding for me and takes extra effort to make good o’s never having had much practice with cursive o’s and end with a scribble signifying the rest.  I like it T Good…  Maybe that will be my next license plate, well maybe not to avoid another trip to the DMV.

One more reaction to getting married soon story.  I signed up for a triathlon in October.  The form asked for an emergency contact so I listed Elliott, and for relationship I realized that in October he will be my husband, weird!  We have done some planning and lots of talking about it, but it is interesting to think beyond the wedding, the event, the action, and realize that he will be my husband.  Seems like something I will enjoy saying a bunch after June to soak it in.  And don’t feel bad if I don’t turn around when you say Teresa Goodwin, that is going to take some practice as well.

I propose this new definition for the DMV.  I am going to risk being slapped with a fine by the state by admitting that it has taken me over 7 months to finalize my car registration with the state.  When we first moved it took me awhile but I eventually made it to the car dealership for my $70 smog check, I swear they used to be $25 and that was when the poor guy had to hook up that rod into the exhaust and do work other what they do now which looks like the equivalent of plugging in a USB port.  Anyway, I waited too long to go to the DMV, the smog expired so I smog’d my car again.

Before Christmas I went to the DMV with my new smog and all of the paper work listed on the internet from the checklist to register my car and get a driver license.  I even studied for the written driving test I would have to take.  I drove through the validation area, waited for my number to be called, filled out paper work, talked to numerous DMV employees, took a test, passed barely (Elliott admitted to betting that I wouldn’t pass).  When registering my car the lady said I was missing a letter from my lessor saying it was ok to bring my car into California.  Well this was true, it was not on the checklist.  She provided me with a temporary permit to post in my window and told me to bring the power of attorney in and drop it in the box.  I left feeling successful, with my temp permit and drivers license picture which documents my crooked haircut.

Recently I received the letter from my lessor.  A few weeks ago I went to the DMV while out running errands to drop off the letter. I wasn’t sure why I would leave the letter in “the box” if I could just meet with someone at the counter and obtain my plates.  So with a spring in my step and probably latte in hand I half skipped into the DMV.  In Pleasanton as probably most DMV’s you have to speak to the keeper of the numbers, so I explained to the non-appointments lady I had fulfilled my duty and procured the letter.  She swiftly snatched the documents in my hand and barked back where are your other documents?  Before I could respond she said, the registration and validation documents, you have to bring those back with you.  I explained I didn’t have them, she said yes you do, I said they were never given back to me, she said yes they were, we gave them back to you for you to bring back with this letter, she informed me that I would have to complete the documents again then, she reached for the form and *stapled* it to my documents and returned them to me.

I returned to my car unsure how that went so badly.  I was sure the lady months ago had not returned the documents to me.  Furthermore, if you believe The Secret I had attracted this bad experience for some reason.  The other way I like to look at it is I haven’t been paying enough into the Karma bank, which I thought I had, so this was my punishment.  Anyway I discussed the issue with Elliott and upon further review was positive that they had already put the information in the computer, therefore why did I need the forms.  I decided I had to find a time to go back when this horribly mean lady was not the gate keeper of the numbers if I could just speak with someone else.  Meanwhile I scoured (not really but it sounds good) the few places where I would have kept the mysterious forms if they had indeed been returned to me.  They were no where.

Determined to check this off my list I went to the mental violence department on Wednesday last week prepared to redo the validation and the form.  When I walked in the door I peaked around the corner and to my delight the mean lady was not working the number table - hooray!  I explained to the nice man that I had my letter from my lessor, he corrected me on the pronunciation of the word lessor and gave me a number, I beamed inside.  I sat and to my delight they were calling the number before mine.  When they called my number I proceeded to counter 9.  The lady at this counter was still in the middle of finishing her prior transaction, she talked with other employees, stamped and filed forms, and I began to wonder why she had called me to her counter if she wasn’t ready for me.  I waited patiently none the less and when she was finally ready I slid the number and letter her direction, I had removed the form and staple certain they were not required.  To my dismay I quickly realized that the lady behind the counter was the horrible mean lady who had deterred me previously.  With even more valor than before she asked for my forms.  I explained I didn’t have them.  She said you will have to complete them again then, I said that was fine, but I didn’t understand why previously the lady put all of the information in the computer if I were to bring the forms back.  With that she pulled up the file to fill in 6 of the 56 pieces of information required on the form as if that helped.  She then asked me if I had my registration and all of the other paper work.  I said I didn’t have it with me but hopefully it was in the car.  She said maybe the form is in there too, I explained the form was not in the car - I had looked, I didn’t have the form, it was NOT given back to me.  She told me to pull my car along the side of the building to complete the validation.

Now I feel like I must explain what makes me most mad about this mean lady at the DMV.  It is her lack of compassion.  Form or not, if I were in her shoes I would say to the person, I am so sorry but it is our standard procedure to return the forms to you and have you bring them back with you when you have all of the required information. I know that was probably awhile ago but hopefully you can remember where you put it.  Yes we did put the information in the computer, but we are required to file a hard copy with the state showing your signature, and we don’t have a system to file them while you are obtaining the additional information.  I hope you can find it, but if you can’t you are going to have to complete the information again, I apologize for the inconvenience, I wish I could help.  But no, this lady treats me not like a fellow human being, but like someone she could give a shit about, just another idiot who lost their form.

So, I left the counter to go to my car, retrieve the registration information which I don’t recall seeing in the last month since I went to the DMV in the first place.  I open my glove to find my owners manual and car insurance.  Oh - on top of it the lady made me feel like an idiot to not have my registration, she said what did you plan on showing the police if you were pulled over, well I planned on pointing at the temp permit which I assumed was legitimate.  Anyway, no registration in the car.  I turn on the car and instead of going to the validation area I drive to work to look for the registration documents, once again without success.  I wanted to cry, but I refused to, I wanted to punch that lady, but decided that was a bad idea too.  I went home and in my Subaru folder I find a stack of papers neatly *stapled* together.  No shit there is the form, registration documents, the whole package.  Go figure, of course she knew where the registration was there the form would be because she knows that they like to *staple* peoples shit together.

I drive back to the DMV debating how I will handle it if I have to go back to her counter.  I had many possible outcomes decided. I was going to treat her with the most kindness I could muster, thank her for leading me to find these forms, tell her I wished I could just hug her for all of her help, and ham it up real big.  Or I would give her the biggest dose of Kulesza family sarcasm that I could rally, and let her know I really appreciated her kindness and genuine customer service skills.  Or I would tell her that I appreciated her patience with me, in that I have a really bad memory from a car accident (made up) I was in - see if I could guilt her into being nice.  I thought about just telling her straight out that she was mean and hurtful and that she should treat people like they are human beings with respect and kindness. I also considered begging the number guy to direct me to another counter.

But like a big girl I did neither of these.  I retrieved a number and Karma gave me a gift and directed me to counter #4.  The lady took care of everything.  Gave me new official plates, she even took my NV plates.  The mean lady from counter 9 looked over at me a few times but I refused to make eye contact for her.  I installed my new plates.

I also put on the new stickers.  There were 2 stickers, unlike NV with only one sticker.  I took the first sticker, read the back that said apply to rear plate so I placed the sticker in the upper right corner where the sticker goes on the NV plates.  Then I walked to front plate with the other sticker, but when I read the directions it too said to apply to the rear plate.  It was then that I realized the two stickers were different, one was an orange year expiration date, the other was a white month.  I blankly starred at the 2008 sticker and the open spot that said Mo on the rear plate, eventually I figured out I had placed the first sticker in the wrong location, I tried to remove it, but it was stuck real good.  So I stuck 2008 over the mo spot and decided the lady was right I was an idiot.  I laughed as I examined all of the other license plates in the parking lot with the stickers applied correctly.  Oh well, I never did like to read all of the instructions first.

I got in my car and proceeded out of the parking lot, on my way out low and behold it was the uber mean lady walking through the parking lot in the middle of the driveway in her black leggings and misfitting red sweater.  I considered the irony of her so vulnerable and me making headlines of crazy woman runs down DMV employee in parking lot.  Of course I may be slow and have a bad memory but I am not that stupid.  But it does make you wonder why the state hasn’t figured out how to improve this department where they post signs that say “It is unlawful to threaten a state employee”.  No lie, they have this posted at each counter, don’t you think there is something wrong with the whole system if it is such a common occurrence they have to post such a sign?

After making a complete stop, signaling and pulling into the lane closest to me I proceeded to work.  I don’t know why but I feel guilty around the DMV and drive as perfect as I did when I took my test the day I turned 16.  Its like the church for driving, I straighten up and do all that I know I should when driving a car when within eye shot of the place.  Down the street I slouched back into my chair, returned my left hand to 7 o’clock and life returned to normal.  I am officially a Californian.

I attended my monthly Vistage meeting last week on Friday.  Our chair is having our group read the book The Secret.  The Secret is the idea that everything you have in your life you have attracted to yourself, and anything that you want in your life you can attract through the power of positive thought and visualization.  For those of you know me real well, I am a self help book junkie, I love um, can’t get enough.  So The Secret is right up my alley.  Before our meeting the group was discussing the book informally.  I was really looking forward to hearing the reactions because I knew a few people were probably not going to latch right on to the idea. 

I haven’t told Terri yet, but she reminds me of my sister Kathi, almost to the tee.  So I was excited to hear her reaction because she has strong opinions and is rather animated, she admitted having some resistance to the ideas in the book and not really caring for the style of the writing.  Then she asked if I liked it and I grinned and said I did.  She said “I figured you would like you are very rainbows and unicorns.”  Lori sitting next to her, also an engineer, wasn’t really listening and questioned the rainbows and unicorns statement of which I laughed at and had to agree that it pretty much summed up my outlook on life.  Lori thought that was an offensive thing to say to someone.  Admittedly I normally try and down play my the world is a wonderful and caring place outlook in any business context because I know it may appear to not be a savvy position.  Although somehow Terri had seen through my disguise and called me out for who I am.

Each meeting our group latches on to some funny statement or concept and pulls it out as needed throughout the day.  There have been some crude things before if I recall correctly, something about socks in pants, anyway the rainbows and unicorns were used throughout the meeting.  For instance I shared with the group that I had made gratitude stones for our family shortly after my mom’s diagnosis with breast cancer to replace the worry dolls she had found.  The idea being carrying around what you are grateful for in your pocket will be bring more of that to your life.  Anyway, Michael came up with the concept of gratitude unicorns, it’s a good thing I am used to such quit whit - I never thought I would thank my brothers for their sarcasm, but as the masters they helped prepare me for the real world.  So gratitude unicorns - I believe this is a brilliant idea and if I can find any unicorns available cheap I may repackage and market them as such.  I can’t think of anyone I know who couldn’t benefit from carrying a unicorn around in their pocket, just the thought of it makes me happy!

The other interesting thing is that in the same day at the same meeting Michael called me greedy.  I don’t know what that is about.  That truly hurt my feelings, in rainbow and unicorn land we don’t call people names like that.  Although admittedly the discussion we were having that prompted that reaction from him did have me pretty riled up and us unicorns can get a little excited about the world being fair and good.

Well, I am excited to have a new way of explaining my outlook on life, and you know I couldn’t skip out on a blog title like Rainbows and Unicorns.  May your day be filled with all that you dream of.

The storm of the century just ripped through our area.  It rained straight through for days.  The same storm made a mess in the Reno area as well.  Personally I wasn’t very excited about it raining going into my birthday weekend.  This year our birthday fell on a Sunday.  After much research I decided I wanted to go to Pescadero for fish tacos, based on an article a friend sent me.  Do you like my new blog style, I don’t even need Elliott to make the links for me anymore, I learned how to myself, since we did so much work on the wedding site.  Anyway… 

So Friday it poured rain.  We had an interview with a wedding photographer in Lafayette, so we didn’t have a choice but to weather the storm.  We headed off into the fog, fortunately traffic was pretty slow, which was good because visibility was pretty low.  We had the windshield wipers going faster than I had ever seen them go before, I never knew there was a purpose for that turbo speed.  At one point a car drove past, splashed in a puddle, and the windshield was solid water for two swipes of the wipers, that was pretty intense.  We made it safely to our destination and ran to the office since we don’t own umbrellas.  Had a great meeting with our now booked wedding photographer.  That was a relief, for awhile we were boycotting a prof photographer based on their outrageous rates, figuring we take pretty good pictures, but we found a guy who is reasonable who takes great pics.

Saturday we braved the storm again and went to Walnut Creek where we were to meet Elliott’s cousin for my 1st birthday dinner.  We went early to get out of the house.  Decided to go to Barnes & Noble and read.  I had some assignments, 2 chapters from Firms of Endearment, our current BJG book club pick, and also an assignment to read The Secret for my Vistage group.  We sipped coffee, read, and people watched.  At one point 2 girls sat next to us, high school or junior high age.  They had just purchased a sampler of perfume from Victoria Secret, they examined their purchase while asking each other “which one is your favorite?”

“I really like the design of this bottle.” 

“This one is something I would wear to a tea party.”

A what…  I think I accidently laughed out loud behind my book.

After awhile we ran out of things to read and money in the meter so we drove around looking for a restaurant for dinner.  Eventually stopped at Jamba Juice for a snack and then decided to shop.  We went to Macy’s and purchased our first umbrellas.  Elliott had to buy the 2′ long sleek black one that crosses for a cane, all of the cool older men carry this kind of umbrella.  I chose a small one that I could carry easily, it even has a belt clip so I could attach it to my pants, how convenient.

Finally we decided to check out Concord, since we couldn’t get a reservation or decide on a dinner location in Walnut Creek.  In Concord we found an Old Spaghetti Factory in the center of downtown.  We waited in the bar for Elliott’s cousin, but he eventually cancelled because he wasn’t feeling well.  Me on the other hand one beer in, I was feeling pretty good.  So we had dinner earlier than planned.  After dinner we walked around the other shops and found a yogurt store.  It was the greatest thing ever, self serve.  You take as much as you want of whatever you want and pay by the ounce, I think it is a brilliant concept!  Then we decided to see a movie afterwards.  We saw Alien vs Predator, I think there were 3 other people in the theatre, not a big hit apparently.  Elliott exclaimed at the end that it was the worse movie ever, I couldn’t disagree.  Problem is, since we moved, and have no friends (not true we have 2 here, Matt and Ashley) we see a lot of movies.  So its hard to compete with Will Smith and similar box office stars.  After the movie we came out to find it was raining again and of course we both conveniently left our umbrellas in the car, so we ran back to the car. 

Sunday we went to Pescadero, enjoyed fish taco from the famous gas station!  Walked around, bought a really cool picture from recycled boat hulls.  Drove to a historic landmark light house all without a drop of rain on my birthday!  We drove back to Pleasanton, had dinner with Ashley and Matt at our house.  Ashley brought me a cake with candles and everything, and I enjoyed truly great birthday.

I will say that no one told me that it rained here when we were considering moving here.  I suppose I should have understood from the green hills that there was a little more moisture available then in Reno, but I was sure I saw sprinkler heads when we were touring this area.  I hear however that it rains until February and then it will be back to sunny and pleasant again.  Now that we are prepared with our umbrellas as long as we remember to bring them with us there will be no rain checks for us.