teresa

If you have been reading Elliott’s blog you know that we spent last weekend as Squaw Creek for our company’s strategic planning retreat.  The room we had was gorgeous, with a fireplace and all, and it was a great feeling to be back in the sierras, except for the weather, I don’t miss the cold one bit (I really had to dig to find a scarf).  We had a pretty good session on Friday.  The morning was spent mostly brainstorming which can be so energizing to think of all of the amazing opportunities for growth and improvement.  In the afternoon we attempted to determine a Blue Ocean Strategy, which just did not go well.  We were not aligned in our thinking.  We finally stopped the bleeding and gave up.  After being kicked out of our meeting room, there was some miscommunication in planning, we wrapped up our day in the lobby struggling to hear who was committing to lead the major initiatives that had come out of our morning session.

I did not jump at any of the early initiatives thrown out on the table admittedly none of them struck a chord with me, important maybe, but none excited me.  Eventually Pete asked for a champion for the Passion initiative.  Somewhere along the way someone brought up the importance for us to be passionate about what we do every day, and I realized that from my prospective that is really lacking throughout our organization.  During a breakout session Pete (our CEO) asked me if I thought he was passionate or excited about his job, I can honestly say I don’t see that in him.  I don’t get that from many people in our organization, and that is sad.  I don’t get that from myself much anymore either and I long for it, for that spark that I used to have, it’s become an old and uninspired relationship - you don’t bring me flowers anymore, you don’t sing me love songs anymore… ok that’s just gone too far.

So that was my highlight, something that I could get passionate about, finding a way to infuse passion into our company AND to create a way for everyone to share their passions and let our organization be a vehicle for them to go after dreams.  Now that makes my heart sing!

The lobby debrief wrapped up and we went back to our room to freshen up before dinner.  Then it was to the bar.  We met Ed our trusty LV team leader (trusty is my sly word for grey haired, god I hope no one from work reads this, I really like Ed, he drinks mean martinis that of course he talked Elliott into having one as well, and out of everyone he does seem to have a real passion for architecture) and Tammy who is an outside member of our board of directors.  Tammy is the designated diversity on the board as the only woman.  I was afraid of who this mystery woman was and so was pleasantly surprised when I first saw her walk in the room, because she is this professionally yet cutely dressed woman who looked how I want to look when I am her age, professional, thin, and still trendy.  I had long ago decided that she had curly unkemkpt hair and maybe wore a fanny pack.   Tammy and I hit it off.  Later in the night I am sure Pete realized that is hard for me being part of the boys club when Tammy, Katherine (our facilitator) and I were running off to the bar giggling to get another lemon drop.

Well that sets the stage.  Elliott and I didn’t spend much time together that night; we normally don’t at work functions, which is fine.  I sat across from Pete at dinner which was good, the conversation was great.  At one point I think he did tell me I think a lot like he does, that meant a lot to me.  Tammy and I sat next to each other as well, and being the keeper of the camera I got some great shots to capture the progression of the evening.  After dinner it was off to the bar downstairs.  There we joined a group from North Face (the clothing company) who was also at Squaw for their planning event.  They had obviously planned a costume contest which definitely added to the ambience.  There were a few men dressed like women, which by far is my favorite costume, there is just something about seeing a person in a dress with dramatically noticeable chest hair that cracks me up.

The best pictures of the night, I have Pete putting his arm around a large black man who wore a blonde wig and was dressed as Hulk Frogan (that is Hogan 9the wrestler) with a Fro).  And also Tammy and I who had both stolen pieces of others costumes, Tammy adorned the fro and a boa, I had someone’s 40’s hat and glasses and the innocent victims of our theivery, stripped of their costumes, frowned while we smiled from ear to ear.

Elliott did me a huge favor later in the night.  Someone decided I needed another cranberritini of which Tammy and I decided caused the reaction of “Whooo” after one’s first sip - we actually took statistical data to prove it.  Because I hadn’t yet finished the previous one, Tammy held it for me.  Thankfully Elliott in a story that I cannot remember got a little too animated and when he slammed his hands down for affect he ripped that full glass out of her hands.  I still have sticky goop on my shoes to prove it, but that turned out to be a blessing.

Even later in the night I was talking with Hulk about my vision for adding passion in the company and following your dreams when Pete decided that I was in distress.  I understand he yelled at Elliott to “go get her”.  So Elliott and Marlon distracted Hulk and whisked me away, good thing because in that blonde wig you just never know what could have happened.  But their plan was not very good because I ended up with Marlon at the bar.  So literally, they “save” me from a great conversation where I was poetically discussing how I was going to change the future of BJG to walking with Marlon directly to the bar where he says we are going to have tequila shots.  In a moment of brilliance I decided it was time to go, I had had enough.  Knowing if I go back to say goodbye to Elliott that I will never make it out, I made a run for it.  I think I actually looked around kind of James Bondish to try and make sure no one would see me leave.  I definitively started my stride with the determination to prove that I was really not drunk and I walked outside the first door I found, looked up in the brisk air to get my bearings, went back into the lobby and headed the direction of the big tower.

I think I might have had my shirt off before I got in the hotel room judging by the trail of clothes I picked up the next day.  And I was asleep before my head hit the pillow.  I was awoken within minutes it seemed by Elliott whom never joined me in the bed (after sharing a bed with him for so long when I woke up I had an empty feeling because he hadn’t been there).  He slept on the coach when he got back, not sure why, but he assured me it wasn’t because he was mad at me.  Thankfully Pete was on his own in thinking that me and Hulk had anything going.

Elliott in all of his drunken wisdom had somehow ordered room service the night before by placing the door hanging thinging out with our order - I have no idea how he managed that.  But thank goodness he did, the breakfast was important because I was still drunk and we had a few more hours of meetings.  Over breakfast Elliott shared with me that he and Tammy searched all of the bathrooms because Marlon had told them that I went to the bathroom and never came back.  Right.  I thought that was cute that they tried to be my rescue party, but also bothered me that they thought it was possible that I was passed out on a linoleum floor somewhere.

We were a few minutes late to the meeting, amazingly everyone else was there and looking great.  Pete was in sweat pants because one of his employees who will remain nameless (no it wasn’t Elliott) spilt something toxic and flammable like bourbon on his pants and apparently they were double duty pants.

Everyone made it through the meeting.  At one point I was certain that my heart was going to stop beating and all I could think about was the embarrassingly loud thud that my head was going to make when it hit the table.  Later Elliott admitted looking around to determine where the trash can was because he wasn’t sure he would make it to the bathroom.  Fortunately our speaker had joined us for dinner but made an early departure so he was level headed and shared with us a great way of thinking that he coined second wave strategies.  I took notes furiously and enjoyed every minute.

So in retrospect:

• Dinner and cocktails were an important part of our executive bonding experience.
• I could have drunk 3 less martinis and still had a good time.
• I wish I could have spent the night with Elliott dancing on the table tops because him and I don’t get out like that very often.
• The pictures I took have been confiscated and burned (not really I still have them and will use them for bribery if I have too!)
• I have a lot of work to do find my passion and bring passion into BJG - but for certain lemon drops help!

I awoke at 6:30am this morning no alarm, I have finally caught up on my sleep.  Apparently going to bed around 7pm a few nights in a row does the trick.  I opened the blinds, to assist Elliott in waking up and I grabbed our computer to catch up on the blog world.  Mom had a new post to me so I read it and cried.  When Elliott woke up he asked me if I wasn’t feeling well because I was sniffling, I explained my morning to him.

 Some how between last night and this morning I decided I wanted to do a juice detox I read about in a magazine, I told Elliott I would be doing a weekend juice detox and we was pissed.  He went to Sacramento today for a boys golfing trip and he didn’t want me to experience a detox without him.  After considering his feelings for a few minutes I realized he was pissed because he didn’t want me to lose a pound unless he had the opportunity to lose a pound too.  When confronted with this analysis he admitted it was correct.  We went for a run before he had to leave for Sacramento.  While he showered I walked to the store for the first recipe, he wanted to have at least the first juice with me.  I am working from memory but the shopping list included: beets, spinach, kale, aloe vera gel, carrots, apple, orange… thats all I can remember now.  I asked Elliott if he thought it was an issue that we don’t have a juicer only a blender, as the two produce very different results.  He thought the blender would do fine for the juice diet.  I prepared the foods and placed them in the blender poured 2 giant 8 ounce glasses and smiled because the rule in our house is the person who blends doesn’t have to clean.  Oh and olive oil, how could I forget, the recipe included olive oil.  The juice/smoothie was horrible.  The only good part was watching Elliott’s gag reflex which was hilarious even though I was choking down the same strange juice/smoothie.  Elliott commented that he thought the kale smelled like he does after a run, I said I didn’t think it smelled that bad but it definitely tasted pretty bad.  Elliott eventually left for his trip and I was left to ponder my day.  I showered and made latter made myself a fruit juice, a nice break from the vegetable variety, much better.  I went to Whole Foods to purchase my lunch and dinner items, you have no idea how expensive it is to buy all of these veggies.  I came back home and made a celery, orange, lemon, kale… the rest I have put out of memory juice/smoothie and suprisingly it was even worse that the breakfast smoothie - horrible in fact.

Throughout the day I surfed the internet and read about juicing, detox, raw good diets, even learned about strange things like oil pulling.  Around 3pm I realized it had warmed up outside so I walked across the street with a blanket and magazines and partially watched a girls soccer game, it was really nice to get some sun.  Back at the house 1/4 to 1/3 of the way through my juice detox I aborted the mission and had a spoonful of cashew butter.  I then ate some chips and salsa and started to feel normal again.  I decided to walk to Safeway where I bought a greasy burrito from the deli counter and some bananas.  I then walked to Block Buster and rented the Devil Wears Prada.  Once home I ate the bean burrito and enjoyed every bite.  I still don’t feel quite right, the unfortunate part is now I am not sure if the smoothies or the burrito made me feel bad.  Oh well, I think I can nurse myself back to health with some hearty food tomorrow.  Oh I forgot to mention I also tried a dandelion root tea with lunch, it helps detox the liver or something.

One thing I wanted to mention is while at Safeway the cashiers were really playing up their donate to breast cancer program.  I donate each time I go to the store, I gave this morning when I bought the veggies.  Tonight though they were announcing each donation over the speaker system and crowds of cashiers were clapping and celebrating.  I thanked the cashier and said I thought they were doing a good thing.  He shared with me that the general manager is a breast cancer survivor.  I told him my mom is fighting it right now.  It took everything I had to not break down into tears right there.  A year ago I would have maybe given a dollar, and probably never thought twice.

So I didn’t make it through the weekend detox and for whatever reason today has been an emotional day for me, I guess that is what I get for reading mom’s blog first thing.  Tonight I am going to drown my tears with more toxic food, probably some cereal, and The Devil Wears Prada, spread out in the bed as Elliott will be back tomorrow.

Today I passed on an opportunity to go after my dream job.  I was so sad I sat frozen for minutes debating what I knew I had to do.  A few weeks ago I read of a request in the ASCE (Civil Engineers) newsletter about a show looking for a female engineer co-host.  The same opportunity passed my email box again this week this time through SWE (Women Engineers) saying they had a rep in California and so were doing interviews of California women engineers.  The information I received explained it is a show that will be on the Discovery channel and the program will be about inventions or ideas to fight climate change.  It’s a great opportunity to do something truly fun within my career and also genuinely good in so many ways, from climate change to inspiring young girls to be engineers.

It sucks that I couldn’t follow my gut on this one, because I really really wanted to go after this opportunity.   But the other information they sent me said it would require a huge time commitment with 3 week shoots in November, January, February… five months, three weeks off each from work, ya I can just imagine Pete’s reaction.  The funny thing is Pete and I just had a great talk about what we want to be when we grow up and I shared with him that what drives me is to do good, and here is an opportunity calling my name to do something good and I turn it down because of my work commitments.  So bye bye dream job (I am hamming it up here, I am really not that sad about it anymore, but figure for the blog a little dramatic flair is appreciated) for whatever reason now wasn’t the time for me to go after one of the opportunities of a life time.  I guess I already got a pretty great opportunity this year, hence moving here so I suppose that is fair.

On a truly positive note, we had a new employee start yesterday.  She is fabulous, smart and fun - who could ask for more.  She even took us up on going to lunch, better than our last employee.  I think she is a keeper.  She is from China.  Today she brought in a moon cake to share, from the Chinese Moon Festival last week.  Jon was down from our Reno office so the 4 of us split it for dessert - she knows how to buy me.